Love Lust & Lies

Chapter 2

My cheeks were warm from blushing so hard. What did he just say to me? He hopes to see me around. What does that mean? I didn't even think he knew I existed, let alone wanted to see me around.

As Mina emerged from the ladies room asking for her bag, I'm totally oblivious to her words.

"Kennie!" she practically shouted snapping me back to reality.

"I'm so sorry, I was lost in thought. Here's your bag." Handing it to her, it was clear to her that my thoughts were still elsewhere.

"Girl, what has you shook like this? You look like you're about to faint." She laughed.

"Do you remember that guy I told you about? The one that I'm crushing on?"

"Oh, you mean your dream fuck buddy?" She smirked.

I forgotten that I told Mina everything, but I never told her that, that guy was based by someone real.

"Yeah, him. Well, the real-life version of him just came and talked to me and I'm freaking out," I confessed.

"AHHHH!" she squeaked, drawing curiosity from our passing co-workers. She grabbed my arm and dragged me to the side hallway for more privacy.

"Ok, so spill you little rabbit. You never told me it was someone at work!" Her eyes wide with excitement.

"It's Jungook", I confessed, barely whispering.

"Wait, you mean the sexy one from the Design team?" She could hardly contain her excitement.

"Yea, that's the one. He caught me staring at him during the presentation today." My head dropped in embarrassment as I admitted to gawking at him for the first part of the presentation.

"Yeah, okay, well what did he say?" She sounded like a school teacher demanding details of a playground altercation.

"Well, he asked me my name. When I asked him why, he said that he wanted to know the name of the beautiful woman he was staring at today. He also noted he just needed a reason to come say hi."

Just saying the words make my heart flutter. I couldn't tell if it was shock or hope, but nonetheless, he actually said it. His expression read as pleased, like he enjoyed that he caught me earlier today.

"Ok, but what else? Did you ask him for his number?" Typical Mina, always thinking a step ahead. She'd probably handpick a guy for me if I let her. She's been through all my major and minor life events and especially during my shitty break up. I think seeing me happy is on her bucket list.

"No, as quickly as he came, he disappeared. So, I didn't get to ask. Not that I would anyway, have you seen him. He was just fucking with me because he caught me looking at him." My head dropped back into my phone as we walked to the elevator.

"Kennie, you have to stop doing this to yourself. He could have meant what he said," she exclaimed, her voice rising yet again. She hated when I got down on myself.

Re-focusing, I shifted my attention back to the more pressing task at hand—deciding what to order from my favorite fried chicken place.

Browsing through the menu was almost as taxing as doing my taxes. 'Traditional sounds good, or maybe something spicy. Either way, extra crispy'. I thought.

Just then as we turned the corner and entered the corridor with the elevators, there he was, standing right in front of me, again. Mina instinctively covered her mouth, realizing that he might have overheard her. Her wide eyes above her flawless skinny fingers screamed, "I'm so sorry."

'It's okay, he didn't hear it."  I reassured myself.  "She's loud, but not that loud. I'm sure that he didn't hear what we said. Right?'

We all stood silent as the corridor filled with co-workers from other departments. It was noon, and everyone seemed to be heading to the 15th floor for lunch.

'DING', the elevator doors slid open, and I hurried to the back of the first car, hoping to avoid any further contact with my dream fuck buddy. But luck wasn't on my side—he followed me in and stood right next to me.

As the elevator filled, I found myself sandwiched between him and Mina in the center of the crowded car. It felt like a scene from a drama with how many people packed in. With each passing floor, I wished that enough people would exit so I could escape the constant contact with his side, but  it wasn't happening today.

Finally, the 15th floor. The elevator car doors opened, and like grains of sand, people poured out. It was our turn to exit, when I felt a tug on my arm. Startled, I glanced to my left expecting to see Mina, but it wasn't. It was him.

"Hey, can you spare a minute? I'd like to talk to you." His eyes captivated me and without a word, I nodded.

"W-will it take long? Mina likes to eat with me" I asked shyly, needing a viable excuse for a quick exit if this conversation started to go south.

Mina quickly shooed me toward him, whispering, "Go get 'em bestie, I'll save us seats."

Turning back to him, he smiled and said, "No. It won't take long at all". He led the way out of the elevator toward the stairs next to the cafeteria. There was a rooftop paradise where employees could eat, smoke, or just hang out during our lunch breaks.

As we approached the door to the rooftop, women from various departments smiled at him and shyly said hi. He politely acknowledged them but kept moving forward so we could have our conversation.

On the backside of the roof, there was a spot between two big trees with a bench underneath. He led us there to talk.

"So, Kennie how are you today?" His generic question raised an eyebrow. He could have asked me this in the cafeteria.

"Well, I'm fine, how are you?" I responded, unsure how to handle such a basic question.

"I'm really bad at small talk, aren't I?" He noticed my discomfort.

Not wanting him to feel silly, I said, "No, you're not bad, it was just me. I can be awkward at times." My eyes dropped to my hands as I waited for him to speak.

"Why do you do that?" He asked directly.

"Do what?" I responded confused

"Put yourself down for the sake of other's comfort," he confidently stated, as if he'd known me for years. I didn't know how to answer him. He wasn't wrong though. After my dismal breakup, I lost a lot of confidence in myself.

My ex left me for someone who I felt was better than me—prettier, thinner, more successful. It wasn't like he left and downgraded. In my eyes he upgraded, and I couldn't shake that feeling. Since then, I've seen myself in a much duller light.

"Oh, it's not intentional", I tried to save myself, but he stopped me.

"Yes, it is." He insisted.  I stared at him, seeing him for the first time not only as an object of my secret desire, but as a person.

"You've done it twice today. Once when you didn't think I was looking at you because I truly thought you were beautiful," he said.

'Oh, shit he did hear what Mina and I were talking about. And did he really say I was beautiful again?'I frantically thought.

"And two, just now. Don't do that, okay." His tone was almost disappointed.

My eyes still locked with his, I simply nodded.

Lowering my gaze back down to my hands, "Hey can you look at me please," he requested.

I lifted my head again to meet his gaze, finding something magical in his dark, jet-black hair fluttering in the wind. His doe eyes focused on mine, with a smile that could heal any damaged soul.

"I know that this may be sudden Kennie, but I've really liked you for a long time," he confessed.

My heart stopped as all I could manage to mutter was, "What!"