Marriage?

13: Event (pt2)

happy reading<3

Calvin Richards.

I love it.

I love the way she smells, I love the way she walks, I love the way she looks, I love the way she carries herself.

How can she be so elegant? I didn't fucking expect her to look like a damn goddess in that damn dress of her. Her silky black dress which hugs her curves perfectly. Her brown wavy hair which looks like the waves of an ocean, ended at the middle of her back. The radiance of her smile is like a lotus blooming in a pool filled with mud. Her little concerned voice when she saw my dry hands had an effect on me. I don't even know why I feel like this, but this feeling is strange - very fucking strange in this dry and dull land of a heart of mine.

Her little offer to give her lotion to me so that my hands remain soft and warm as her. And have I told how her hands affect me? Her delicate fingers, beautifully painted fingernails and comparatively small hands had fitted into mine like a puzzle. Those soft little hands that were shivering when I held her, made my heart drum for a second. And I don't even get how the fuck the idea of holding her hand came from- she looked nervous and I didn't want her to doubt herself because she is more worth it than she thinks she is.

And her back— what can I say?

My eyes were just stuck at that beautiful masterpiece that God himself took time to carve. Little moles on her perfect back which was the colour of a sand, made it fit perfectly with her sea wavy like hair. It was too beautiful to be ignored by a sane man (of course someone who is not married or in a relationship). I feel embarrassed to be even thinking about the wild stuff that came into my mind when I first saw that back of her.

As a man, who has never laid a finger on a women, found it fucking devourable; but I'm sure that this reaction would come out of me if the back belonged to my cariño. I feel like a wild animal who wants to feed on their prey - but lovingly with my tongue, not wanting to hurt them but pleasure them

And these are the thoughts that shouldn't be coming to my mind.

That blush that comes up to her cheeks whenever I'm too near her, or say anything to her in my usual deep voice. I notice it, and it turns something in me. And this attraction that comes from her is what I fear. I don't want myself to get attached to her, nor do I want my love to get attached to me. She's a mature person, and she cares for her loved ones deeply; and if by chance, she gets attached to me, she'll start caring for me. She doesn't know the world where I live. It's too fucked up for her.

And I know she wants to be with me and make this marriage work at any cost. Whether it be for the sake of her parents or her own feelings - she was adamant to make this marriage work. Until, I warned her about me; warned her about my limitations. That spark that she had in her eyes would just vanish whenever I would say that. It was clear she had something for me; which I feared the most.

How can I convince her when she doesn't know the reason? And how do I even tell her when I myself can't even figure out how to start, or even justify the reason?

If we decide to work this out together, it won't work; never. It would be like, a young delicate plant has been planted in a terrene land, without any sources of water or nutrients. It's an obvious fact that anyone can predict; the plant will die.

And I don't want her to be ruined just because of my silly feelings or her attraction that will fade if we avoid each other. And that's what I'm gonna do.

My eyes averted towards her figure which was looking at the architecture with awe. Her brown eyes sparkled with glint as she observed all the paintings. She didn't make her expressions seem obvious to the way she was finding the paintings beautiful; she made them look subtle and only the people who were observant enough would be able to know how keen she was for these. I'll buy some original paintings of these copies present here.