The Beta's Heart

24. Tough Time

Tyler

As the garden hose sprayed cool water over River's fur, I watched Grace and Livvy Benson work diligently to wash away the blood, Landry standing nearby with a mix of concern and relief in his eyes. River lay still, his breaths deep and slow as he healed himself. The blood mixed with the water, forming pink rivulets that flowed away from his gray fur.

"Almost done, River," Grace said softly, running her fingers through his fur to ensure the water reached every bloodied spot. Her voice was gentle, soothing, but my fear-fed anger was a living thing, clawing at my insides, and I let out a strangled growl.

"Beta Ty, he's calmed down, but he's still hurt," Livvy muttered. "Don't be harsh with him."

But I couldn't hold back anymore and, to my shame, I poured out all of my pent-up emotions on the one least deserving of it.

What were you thinking, River?! I snapped, my voice harsh and unforgiving. Thoreau almost died!

He flinched at my words, his eyes widening in confusion and hurt. He whimpered softly, his ears flattening against his head.

"He didn't-"

No! I cut Landry off, my anger boiling over. He needs to understand how serious this is!

River's eyes filled with tears, and he buried his head in his paws, quivering as he cried.

Me sorry, Ty-Ty, he choked out, his voice small and broken. Me no mean to make Ty-Ty mad.

Saying sorry isn't enough this time! I yelled, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. Reau almost died because of us!

River's sobs grew louder and his body shook harder, but I chose to harden my heart instead of admit that I was making a mistake.

"Beta, he's trying his best." Livvy shot me a look that was a mix of disappointment and frustration.

Trying isn't enough, either! He needs to do better! He needs to be better!

"Are you talking about him or yourself?" Livvy, never one to pull her punches, ripped back.

"Please, don't, Livvy," Grace's soft voice cut through the tension. "Beta Ty, he's hurting inside and out, and you're too angry. This isn't a good time for either of you to do this."

Reau. Almost. Died! I shouted.

"That wasn't Riv's fault or yours," Landry chimed in. "Those Russian triplets started it, and Reau shouldn't have gotten involved."

Before I could turn my anger on my best friend and make the situation even worse, Luna Posy arrived, bringing an air of calm and authority that we all needed right then.

"Please go for a break," she nodded at Livvy, Grace, and Landry, her voice gentle yet firm, "and Tyler, take some deep, slow breaths while I talk to River."

I did as she ordered, trying to rein in my emotions. River's sobs had quieted somewhat, but now he looked utterly defeated, his eyes filled with a deep, heart-wrenching sorrow that hurt my heart, but I was tired.

So. Damned. Tired!

And afraid.

If Reau had been killed, I wouldn't have been able to live with the guilt.

"Shhh, River." Luna knelt beside my wolf, laying her hand on his wet ruff. "You're okay. Everything's okay now."

Me sorry, luna, he said, his voice a broken whisper. Me sorry.