My Boy (Billy Hargrove)

17

- Sabrina's POV -

I went on the next day as normal, I tried so hard to forget about our conversation and what he said to me, but it was no use. It was like a loop and it was starting to drive me crazy.

Fortunately, tomorrow my parents come home and hopefully I can go back to avoiding him.

My eyes scan the front yard as I tap my pencil on our old, wooden coffee table. I need to finish my homework. Why do I keep staring outside? What was I waiting for? The scribbles on my scrap paper revealed just how focused I really was right now. I'd like to tell myself that I haven't been thinking about him, but that would just be a big lie. I knew why I kept looking out of the window and I also knew what I was waiting for.

I don't want to avoid him. Or maybe I do, but something inside me doesn't. Everything is so confusing right now. I thought that talking to El would help but it's just gotten worse. She told me to stay away from him but how could I possibly fully achieve that?

After a while I just gave up on the homework. If I keep going I'll just have more doodles than actual work.

Bethany is currently upstairs. I know she's waiting for Max. At least that's one good thing that's come out of this arrangement. She has a friend.

I make my way into the kitchen. My parents made sure to stock up before they left. My hand hovers over the fridge, i'm not hungry...I'm trying to distract myself. Trying to distract myself from him. I close the fridge and groan before walking back over to the living room and falling limp onto the couch.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

My eyes stay glued to the ceiling. Well, only for a couple of minutes, then I was right back to looking outside of the windows. Irritation built up inside of me, why am I so set on him showing up? I huff out and with just a simple nod of my head, the curtains closed.

Which probably wasn't a good idea because now I feel my nose. Of course. Shit. I stand quickly and walk over to the kitchen. I use one of the cloths and wet it with water before holding it up to my nose. I assumed it would only bleed for a couple seconds, but it just kept bleeding. I throw my head back and pinch the top of my nose, that's right about the time I heard a loud engine.

Could it?

No he can't see me like this. Not again. Fuck. I rush over to the curtains and pull them open with one hand. There he was, walking up my driveway with Max by his side. His curly mullet sat perfectly above his shoulders and his usual denim jacket showed his muscles perfectly. He was a sight for sure.

If it wasn't for Bethany running down the steps I would've never snapped out of it. "I got the door!" She shouts. I back away from the windows.

"Right. I'll be right back." I swiftly make my way upstairs so she doesn't see my face. I didn't realize how fast I was moving until I almost tripped on the last step, that's when I told myself to calm down. There's no reason to be so worked up right now.

The water splashes against my face and all of a sudden I feel relieved. A deep breath escapes my mouth as I continue to wash my face. When I'm done, I grab a towel and dry off. My heart finally slowed to a normal pace. You need to act normal around him.

That's what I kept telling myself as I walked down the stairs, my nails dug into my palms as I made my way outside. But right as I was about to open the door someone was already coming through the other side. My hand stops and so does my heart when I realize who it is.

"Sabrina."

I back out of the way, not looking at him.

"Billy." I surprise myself as his name leaves my mouth.

He shuts the door and steps closer to me, leaving barely any space between us. My eyes finally meet his even though I tried so hard to resist it.

"What do you want?" I ask. Hopefully he couldn't tell how fast my heart was beating, so much for acting normal. My eyes scan over his face, searching for any kind of emotion, nothing. nothing at all except for his old scars and bruises.

He takes another step, forcing me to back up. My body was now trapped between his own and the counter. "I'm not giving up on you? Understand?" I couldn't back up anymore and his arms were on either side of me. "You can hate me all you want, you can avoid me all you want, but I'm not giving up." His eyes were like knives, slicing through me.

All I could do was stand there, frozen. I tried to return his intimidating gaze but I'm sure I wasn't anywhere close. My hand clutched the counter, I couldn't even feel them anymore along with the rest of my body. Every single fucking time he was around me he made me weak.

My mouth parts slightly, my breathing is speeding up. He continues to stare into my soul, if it wasn't for the door opening he probably wouldn't have backed away. I quickly move away from him as soon as I could, catching my breath while walking into the kitchen.

"Sabrina we're hungry. Can you cut some fruit?" Bethany asks me.

I glance over at Billy who's leaning against the counter where I just was, his arms crossed as he stared out of the now opened door.

"Uh- yeah sure." I quickly answer her question. Max and Bethany take their seats on the barstools while I rummage through the fridge. "You guys having fun?" I can barely get my words out. I pull out a variety of different fruits with my shaky hands.

"Yeah, I almost got this one trick down." She smiles.

Max nods. "She's awesome."

"Great." I grab a knife from the drawer. Everything is okay when they're here, it eases some of the tension. I just wish this knot in my stomach would disappear.

"Can you call us when you're done? We're gonna go back outside." Bethany says as they both stand from their seats.

No. No. "You guys sure?"

They both nod as they head for the door. "Okay.." I grit out. As soon as the door closes Billy scoffs.

"You're so obvious."

I was about to say something until I noticed what he was staring at. Once again, that stupid 7th grade photo. The same one he was looking at the first time he was in my house.

"Maybe you shouldn't do stuff like that anymore." I snapped as I grabbed a cutting board. I clenched the knife with anger, or what I thought was anger. Now I wasn't so sure.

"Do what?" He finally moves away from the picture and stops right in front of the other side of the counter. I don't give him an answer so his eyes travel down to my hands. "You're going to end up cutting your fingers off." He says with a smug smile on his face.

I give him a cold scowl before turning around and grabbing a large plate from the cabinet. Choosing to ignore him was probably a good decision right now. I slide the fruit onto the plate.

He grins at me as I make my way outside. "Girls!" I shout, ignoring him once more.

I didn't know what he meant about "not giving up" but something about it sent my anxiety through the roof.

I couldn't keep getting flustered because of him.