JiHan | one-shot ( book II )

Lie again

Top : Both ?

Type : Angst, sad, happy ending

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Jeonghan and Joshua have been a couple for a few years now, but it's also been a few months since the younger Joshua sensed that something wasn't quite right, that Jeonghan was drifting further and further away from him. They used to go to sleep and wake up together, but now that's a distant memory. Honestly, Joshua doesn't even know what he's done wrong for his eldest to be so distant from him; it's as if he doesn't exist any more, and that hurts him a lot.

Worst of all, when the American tries to understand and questions his boyfriend, the older man simply replies that there's nothing wrong, that he's the same as always, that he hasn't changed, that he's not cold and even less distant, But Joshua's no fool, and he knows that all this, even if it's supposed to reassure him, worries and stresses him a lot, because it's obvious that everything Jeonghan says to try and reassure him is a lie, and Joshua hates that from the bottom of his being.

Joshua is alone again tonight, in the living room of his apartment, not even sitting on the sofa but on the floor, completely hurt and destroyed by his current situation, he'd never have thought that a man as gentle and soothing as Jeonghan could turn out to be a real liar, an egotist who doesn't even see that he's hurting the person he's supposed to love, Joshua sincerely wonders if even that isn't a lie.

Little by little, the black-haired man bitterly regrets his choices. For some time now, the words of his cousin and his best friend have been playing over and over in his mind, and he tells himself that the two young men were completely right. Jeonghan is probably not the boy he pretended to be, he's probably not as blameless as he lets on, and Joshua is now thinking the worst. He never thought he'd ever doubt Jeonghan's fidelity, but tonight he did. Not least because of a message he'd just received from the blond.

[ I'm staying at the office, you can go to bed before me, I still have a lot of work to do, no need to wait up for me.] Lie, again.

Joshua knows that Jeonghan is lying because his elder's boss closes the office at around ten o'clock in the evening. It's now past midnight and Jeonghan is definitely not at work as he claims to be, so it's with tears in his eyes and a lump in his stomach that he sends Jeonghan a message. His fingers are trembling, but he still manages to type on his keyboard.

[ You have no idea how much you're hurting me, you don't see it or you pretend not to understand it, but I'm suffering enormously from this situation. I'm going to leave home temporarily and go to my cousin's, I don't want to be here anymore.]

Then he thinks and sends one last message before turning off his phone completely.

[ I don't even know why I keep loving you when I'm hurting. I'm in so much pain that I'm slowly starting to forget why and how I fell in love with you.]

Lie, again. Joshua knows very well why he loves Jeonghan and why he fell in love, it's something he'll never forget because everything was perfect in the beginning, it's now that's the problem, Joshua sighs and he gets up from the floor of his living room, he doesn't even bother to pack a suitcase, he goes straight away. Too many memories with Jeonghan are in this house and he needs to get away from them before he ends up more broken than he already is.

He soon arrives at his cousin's house, and when he knocks on the door, he realizes that it may be too late at night for Seungcheol to open the door, but he's wrong to think that way, because the front door opens not to his cousin but to his best friend : Chan.