JiHan | one-shot ( book II )

Killing me

Top : Jeonghan

Pov : Joshua

Type : Sad, bad thoughts, sensitive subject. [ Happy ending ]

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The images of my morning spin in a loop in my mind, I see my classmates criticizing me, hitting me, spitting on me, stealing my things. My stomach still hurts, my arms ache, I know my face is covered in wounds, but I don't feel like getting treatment. I think there's only one thing that can really heal me forever anyway, and no one will miss me if I do it.

I look straight ahead, then pull out the things that were in my pockets, I've got my cell phone, my lighter and a pencil. These are really unimportant things, but they're important to me. My mobile was the only thing that managed to take me away from real life, I felt good when I was busy playing with it, or when I used it to listen to music, and sometimes I talked to people. My lighter is the only reminder I have of my former best friend who stayed in America. I promised him that everything would be all right for me in Korea, and now I'm standing here with my feet dangling over the edge, and it's killing me.

This situation is killing me, my thoughts are killing me, my memories are killing me, everything is killing me and I want to kill myself. That's what I'm going to do anyway, there's nothing left to hold me to life, I've got no one here. Didn't I tell you why my pencil is important ? Normally, my notebooks are supposed to be filled with exercises and lessons from my teachers, but mine are filled with drawings, music lyrics and my darkest thoughts.

I sigh, and run a hand through my hair...

" Joshua ! "

I turn my head and see Jeonghan accompanied by Seungcheol. These two people have been relatively important to me, helping me to stay alive a little longer, but now I have no strength left. I hear their footsteps approaching me, their voices calling out to me, but it doesn't do anything for me any more, so I let my body topple forward and throw myself into the void.

[ A few months later ]

I blink several times and a huge headache comes stinging through, when my eyes are fully open, I sigh and a tear rolls down my right cheek. I survived.

What miracle saved me ? I've never wanted to survive, I don't want to put up with the life I've been offered, why didn't my fall from the roof of my establishment kill me? Nothing's damaged, I remember everything, I even remember the look on Jeonghan and Seungcheol's faces before I tipped my body forward. I wonder how they're doing ; they must be happy.

" Joshua.."

I blink and turn my head at the sweet, angelic voice. It's Jeonghan. Why is he here ? Frankly, he's probably got better things to do than watch over me like this, we're nothing more than classmates after all.

" You gave us such a fright, you know ? "

This time it's Seungcheol who starts talking. His voice is filled with sincerity and his eyes are drowned in tears, I don't understand why they react like that when we weren't any closer than that.

" How do you feel ? Can you talk ? Can you remember us ? "

" Han-ah one question at a time, let him slowly regain awareness of the world around him."

This duo has always been like that, Jeonghan throws out whatever comes into his head, Seungcheol calms him down and reminds him to go easy on everything and everyone. That's why they get on so well, because they're different but so complementary. The best couple according to the students at our school.