snippets of VCY

would you love me for the hell of it?

It is all blur and blood-her blood that shadows his brain.

Once she's moved to the room, he sits besides her and mourns.

Guilt washes over him and he stares at her and then his hands as his heart burns and clenches in pain.

He's has blood on his hands, neck and face countless times.

Messy and dirty encounters and work.

Dealing with blood is always a mess, he's learnt that.

And then, when everything's done, he washes the blood off mindlessly, staring blankly at the clear water turning red and slightly pink.

But he was never prepared for this.

An hour passes by and he's clouded by countless thoughts that do nothing and yet everything to him.

He stares blankly at the blood before gaining strength to make his way to the bathroom to clean it off.

One glance at her as she sleeps calmly, he walks away.

He comes back and is greeted by Mr. Nam sobbing; he gives him a tight smile and a pat on his shoulder and tells him to leave and rest till the time he's here with her.

He calls Mr. Cho and tells him to track Jang Han Seok and Myung Hee's locations and then further asks for a favor.

He's told that the news of her being shot has spread out and he disregards it, instead asking him to control and simmer down whatever happens in the upcoming time.

When he comes back near her bed, he lets out an exhale and despises how unwanted tears make his eyes burn.

His shoulder slump and he looks down at the floor, before moving to sit beside her bed.

He doesn't sleep a wink.

And instead ponders on his guilt a little more and lets the heavy and foreboding feelings take over him.

He prepares himself to leave her soon and that thought alone swallows him whole.

He feels miserable and he tugs on his already loose tie.

It is somewhere then she opens her eyes and his heart-still heavy and sinking, somehow aches more.

Like a wave of new pain hits him, despite the agony he's been in.

The first thing she does when she opens her eyes is stare at him intently.

To overcome the affliction, he moves closer to her and looks down, letting out an inaudible sigh as he mutters a prayer in his hollow mind, and he can't help but smile at her.

A smile which he hopes conveys her everything he feels for her.

She reciprocates his sigh, and her lips stretch as she looks at him.

A moment passes like this, and he wishes he could stay with her, by her side, forever.

All of a sudden, he yearns.

And because it is forbidden for him to yearn for something he can't have and is about to leave very soon, he uses her tactic, smiles again before saying

"I paid for this private room."

She smiles at him again, and he makes a gesture with his eyes to prove his point, letting out a hum to support his stance.

And when she says "I paid for your room for 10 days."

He scoffs looking down, an attempt to shrug the emotional load of his shoulders too.