Things I Shouldn't Have Done

twenty five.

Kyla Foster

The next morning, I sleep until noon. I got home exactly at midnight, but I'm still exhausted. My whole body aches from the wild night, and my head from the vodka.

When I wake up, I have ten messages from Ryker saying how much he already misses me and how much he enjoyed last night.

Today I'm home alone because my parents decided to go to Beverly Hills with Hazel. Without me. Our relationship has cooled off since I started seeing Ryker. But, I can't blame them.

I walk into the living room with slices of bread smeared with Nutella. On the TV, there are some baby songs Hazel was listening to. I turn them off and lean back on the couch.

I would love to call Ryker to come over, but today he plans to box for two hours. And then train, so I'm alone at home.

My gaze stops on a wooden box on the table. It's strange, I know Mom doesn't keep anything on the table so it doesn't get dirty since it's glass. I take it in my hands and open the lid.

Oh, it's a box full of old photos and albums. I take the first photo of me with my parents as a baby. We had just moved into this house. All the other pictures are, as I see, with Madison.

In one, Madison and I are still babies in a crib. Under the photo, it says in small handwriting - Kyla and Madison five months. My heart tightens as I continue to look at the other pictures.

In one, we both have pacifiers and are dressed in the same light pink onesie. Madison has a headband with a flower, and I have one with a sun. I remember how we were always inseparable, how we discovered the world around us together.

Looking at the photos, memories flood in. I see us running around the yard, our faces shining with laughter. I see us at birthday parties, playgrounds, the beach, always side by side.

I go through pictures from elementary school, high school, all the way to recently. Each photo carries a story, a moment that now feels lost.

My hands tremble as I take an old CD from the box. It says: "Our Princesses". I put it in the DVD player and sit on the floor, leaning against the couch.

The video starts with the two of us, probably about six or seven years old, dressed in dresses, with paper crowns on our heads. This was Madison's birthday. I remember because she had rented a bouncy castle in the shape of a pink castle.

"When I grow up, I want to find a prince," Madison says to the camera, proudly holding a plastic sword.

"Me too! We want to be princesses and marry our princes," I say, holding hands with Madison.

A tear slides down my cheek as I watch that innocent, childlike version of us. My heart breaks at the thought of how we drifted apart. How everything became complicated.

How now I'm dating Ryker, and he was her prince. My memories are flooded with sadness, and the tears don't stop.

As I continue to watch, I remember all the times we dreamed about the future, about love and happiness. I remember our promises to always be there for each other. And now, it all seems so far away, so unreal.

I hate that I love Ryker, but also Madison. And that he was with her first. I always imagined introducing my boyfriend to her. And now that same boyfriend was with her.

The feeling of guilt starts to overwhelm me like never before. Even though Ryker and I have something he never had with Madison, I still feel like I've done something I shouldn't have.

I can't resist the urge to call Madison. We haven't talked for a long time. On the other end, I hear a beep beep, and just when I think she won't answer, I hear her voice.