Paint The World (bxb)

Theo Pov:

The doddle theo did

TW: self harm

"Theo you need to eat," mom says in a desperate voice

"I'm not hungry," I repeat

"Ok, fine, but you will be eating breakfast tomorrow," mom said

"Ok," when I hear mom close the door, I sigh.

It's your fault

I sit up.

You're not strong enough

I stand up.

He would not be gone if it wasn't for you

I open the drawer

Cut, you deserve it

I open the box

Cut, you should never have told him

I take out the blade

Cut, or I won't go away

I shove the blade into my skin.

Cut.

And swipe it across my wrist.
_________________________________________

I wake up on the floor. My clothes are bloody, there is a blade in my hand, and there are fresh scars on my wrist.

This isn't the first time I've woken up like this, and I won't be the last, but I can't help but feel shame.

I'm supposed to be clean.

I shake my head, I need to clean this up before Maddie or mom see this.

When I'm done cleaning the floor, I take my clothes off and change into a white shirt with a knitted sweater on top that my sister gifted me for my birthday last year and some sweatpants.

And hed my way to the laundry room. While putting the soap square in the machine, I hear Maddie talking to herself.

"It isn't that bad. Hey, Theo is my outfit ugly?"

I take a look she is wearing a black tank top with black ripped jeans and a white cardigan.

"Not what you usually go for, still cute, though." I shrug

Maddie normally goes for happy colours in her clothing, but today, she's trying something new.

"Hey, you're wearing the sweater I made for you!"

"Yep, it's actually cute,"

"Why do you say that like you're surprised?" She asks, raising one eyebrow
_________________________________________

I was walking with Alex to lunch when I remembered I didn't eat breakfast like I promised, I don't know why, but it makes me feel uneasy, I've never been disobedient towards my mother, I'm such a bad son,

You are a terrible son. You should die, remember when she lost him all because of you, you should have kept quiet, you bitch. You deserve to rott. Cut.

"Hey bro, you ok?" Alex was standing in front of me with his hands on my shoulders

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about it. I just remembered something I have to do, you go ahead," I say with a smile on my face and hands behind my back because they were shaking

"Ok bro, see you," he said, sounding relieved

I ran to the bathroom, trying to calm the fuck down, once I got myself to calm down, I splash some cold water on my face.

"You can do this," I tell myself and walk out of the bathroom and hed to the cafeteria.

"Where were you?" My sister asks

"Forgot my book," I say

I continued my doddle that I started on in math class, and gott lost in my mind when a hand on my shoulder pulled me out of my happy place.

"That's really good," Matt tells me. He was sitting next to me, and only then I realised he was super attractive.

Black hair, grey eyes, defined jawline, and don't get me started on the body

I shake my head "thanks" I smile back to him.