The next day, I wake up, my stomach still hurting. Am I really going to have to live with this every month? I think about skipping school. When I head downstairs, I see mom on the couch.
"Mom, can I stay home today? I'm not feeling too well."
Before she can respond, Chad appears from the kitchen.
"Come on, a little cold isn't a reason to stay home," he chuckles in a macho way. Why did I bother adding that when everything he does is macho?
"I've got a stomach ache, yesterday as well."
"So? You went to school yesterday no problem," he says. Mom seems convinced, "You're a strong girl, you can live with it."
I don't want to live with this. I don't want to live with you.
I accept my fate and go do my morning routine.
Once I'm at school, the stomach pains begin to seriously become a problem. Combined with my general apathy towards the lectures, they prevent me from concentrating at all. Megan sits next to me, should I tell her? Is that normal for girls? I've never heard them talk about it; are they that secretive about it or did I just never notice? If the latter, then I wish I had paid attention since I'm so lost right now!
"H-Hey Megan." I can't keep this to myself, "I don't know if it's normal to tell others this, but Allison's body... well, whatever - I'm on my period..."
"Oh- Are you okay?" she asks, her expression flashing from confusion to shock to concern.
"My stomach hurts and there was blood yesterday... I just wanted you to know, in case something happens."
"Why didn't you stay home?" Before I can even respond she answers it herself, "Was it Chad?"
"Yep."
"You need to tell your mom, Allison- I mean, Zach, sorry," she accidentally says.
"I know I should..." But I can't. Since when have I been such a scared person? How come I can tell myself it's the best thing to do, yet I'm also terrified to do so? Just thinking about it makes my stomach sink even further than it already has. I gaslight myself further with plausible sounding explanations on why I haven't told anyone; they wouldn't believe me.
The class ends, and with it, the school day as a whole. I go to the restroom after a particularly painful cramp, not expecting the toilet paper to bathe in red again. This time I notice there's some tampons in the stall, but I don't know how to use them so I just keep wiping and pray the toilet can swirl down that much paper. When I'm done, I wash my hands and stare into the mirror.
Allison Par stares back at me. A girl with blue-eyes and brown hair. I stare for probably a whole minute. I don't know why, I feel like I'm searching for something.
I'm searching for myself, Zachary Marlowe.
I've looked in the mirror so many times lately but I've never seen him.
Where has he gone?
Feeling miserable, I eventually break the staredown with myself and exit the restroom.
Allison Par stares at me. She's standing opposite to the restrooms, leaning against the wall.
"Hey," she says.
"H-Hey."
"How's it going with the period?"
My stomach acts up almost as if it heard her.
"What do you think?"
She attempts to respond a few times but decides not to. We stand in silence for a while as I make my way next to her.
YOU ARE READING
The Swap
Teen Fiction"Where am I? This isn't my room. Wait, this isn't my voice, either! This isn't my body!" Allison Par is a timid girl. She just moved to a new town and her mom started dating a new man. Allison just wants him gone, but she's too terrified to speak up...
