The Swap

Zachary 5.1

I said I was going to fix things, but this girl is being so difficult! The whole day, I've been trying to talk to her - which is technically against our agreement to lay low - but she's been giving me the cold shoulder or even colder responses. Whatever I did must've really upset her, but the thing is, I don't remember doing or saying anything too bad, right? I didn't insult her or anything, I just seemed like I had forgotten an unusual amount of stuff. That's not something to fuss about.

As if that wasn't bad enough, of course Allison and I had to have this class in common. Now she can see how little I've fixed. I wanted to ask her what could be bothering Megan, but I don't want to talk to Allison without good news.

I guess I'll ask Megan herself.

"Hey Megan, um, are you mad at me?" I ask her tentatively.

"Why would I be mad at you?" she replies without looking at me, but with a hint of sarcasm.

"S-So you're not?"

"If you don't know, then think about it: why would I be mad at you?" This time she looks up from her notes and stares me down. Man, she really looks like a teacher - she even gives the same 'helpful' advice.

That's the whole problem, bitch!

"I dunno..."

"Never mind then," she sighs as she averts her gaze again and tends to her notes.

Well, I tried. I take this as a sign to give up and ask Allison for help later. Now that I'm no longer busy with her life, I can get back to focusing on mine. I look across the classroom at Allison and Evan. I don't know if it was coincidence, but we're all sitting in the same row; one pair at the window, the other at the hallway. Unfortunately, I can't hear what they're saying, but I can see their expressions.

From the looks of it, Allison seems to be doing good. The two of them chatting and Evan is smiling. I just hope he's not hiding his suspicion by being polite, since he has a habit of masking his true feelings for the sake of others. Of course, when he's with me he says what's on his mind more, but maybe if he notices how different 'I' have been acting, he'll get suspicious and put some distance between us.

Now I get why Allison is so worried about Megan. That fear of losing the friendship you spent so much time kindling hits me only now.

The lesson ends and we all leave the classroom. I try to catch Allison's glance, but she and Evan are still chatting. How are they so comfortable? I guess it's easy for a girl like Allison to click with a gay guy. Megan abandons me immediately without a goodbye. Whatever, I'm used to being abandoned. Another lesson goes by and finally it's time to get busy. I head on over to the library and claim a small table. It's pretty busy right now, but that's mainly because everybody is going home and taking their sweet time. Speaking of, where is she?

Suddenly, I feel a tap on my shoulder and flinch.

"I made it," Allison smiles.

"Took you a while."

"Oh yeah, I forgot you were such a jerk..."

Whatever. I'm not here to be her friend. We only know each other because of this swap.

"Well fine, how was your day?" I ask apathetically.

"Good, I-I think. Your friend doesn't seem to suspect much... somehow. He did mention how livelier I was today, but I just said I got a good night's sleep. How about you?"

"It went... okay, I guess," I lie, "Megan's still pretty upset, but I talked to her a bit and I think it'll work out."

"Really?" she asks with widened eyes.