..Out of the Blue ..💙

7. Too much heartbreaks

.She feels nothing, John... she never felt anything for me," I said, tearing up in front of him.

"Rishi, stop. Fuck her, you can do better, man. Here, have a drink.""You know, she told me to get a divorce just like that. Nothing. She could have gone mad, she could have slapped me, or fucking cussed at me, but nothing... all she did was...""Bro, it's okay. You've been a mess. We will sort it out. What's wrong with me, John? Why am I not enough?""Oh, bro... she's just a cold bitch.""Hey, don't call her that, she's my wife."

"Oh God, Rishi, that woman never loved you. I think you have a better chance with that girl.""Who, Zoya?""Yeah.""I don't think I can face her either. I think I have to break it off with her now that I clearly got my answer.""Did that girl confess that she likes you?""I don't know, but I have a feeling that she'll soon confess.""So why can't you be with her? Be happy, man. Divorce Monica.""I don't think I can do that.""Okay, what about your plans of having a baby?""It's not possible, John. I think I have to get out of this delusional world.""What went wrong, Rishi?""Nothing, John. Everything is perfect.""Look here, buddy. My plan has been working well. Even though the result is harsh to digest, it's true. You got to know that your wife never loved you. You got a good-looking young woman whom you like, she likes you, and she's not any stripper. You don't want a stripper to carry your child, but she can carry it.""How can I make her carry my child? I don't want to make children with anyone. I've only wanted a child for me and Monica.""Idiot, I'm speaking about that. You go to her place, put something in her drink, and implant those IVF. or whatever""WTF, that's a violation, John."

"You own the hospital. It's too easy with money, Rishi.""But how would Zoya feel about it?""The very next day, you have to sleep with her.""What?""Yeah, make her think she's having your baby. After sleeping with her, you check whether she's suitable to be your wife.""But John...""Do as I say, Rishi. Monica doesn't love you."His words hammered in my head: Monica doesn't love you. But still, a tiny bit of my mind told me she will love you if you bring a baby for her as a surprise. I shook that thought away. I am next level delusional.

But it never stopped me from doing it. I went to Zoya's place. I confessed that I love her. She was happy. We started drinking. I poured her a glass of wine and mixed the pill. Soon enough, she fell asleep. Doctors carefully planted the zygote in her uterus. I laid next to her as if nothing happened. She rose happy in the morning, kissing me. She was more than happy. I spent the whole day with her. I felt guilty for not telling her the truth. Poor girl believed me, the same way I believed Monica loved me. Out of sadness, rage, or for the plan, I slept with her that night. 

It was not bad; it was tender. Innocent. She was feeling more connected to me. She was in total euphoria, but all I felt was nothing but an orgasm. My mind was always drifting towards Monica. I understood the meaning of sex and love clearly. What I did with Zoya was just nothing but sex. But for her, it was a lot more. This must be how Monica felt after sex with me. Zoya slept peacefully, but I was awake, feeling numb, hurt, and enraged—everything.

I've decided to visit Monica. She said she wanted to meet the woman who is going to be Ayan's mother. But I don't want Zoya to be my wife. But at this point, it will be better. I think I have to learn how to love Zoya."Sure, I will bring her next week.""Okay."

With that, I left the room. More hurt. She didn't even respond to anything I have expressed.I think I have to tell Zoya about my truth. I am going to tell her that I had a wife whom I was going to divorce and a 12-year-old son. But I don't know how she'll digest the information or how she'll react to the interaction with Monica.

"Get out! Rishi! Fucking get out!" she said, throwing a bottle at me.Great, what was I even expecting?"I know you're hurt, Zoya. I swear I don't want to hurt you. But what I said is true. We're getting a divorce, and she knows about you.""Wow, very good, Rishi. Now I think I got a home-wrecker title. You're not even the man I love. I think you should leave.""But it's true, Zoya. I've felt more alive with you than anyone else. You're special to me. And my wife, she doesn't love me...""Your excuses are lame, Rishi..." She closed the door on me.Wow, turned out really nice. Now that I've hurt her. And it made me feel like shit. Even though it didn't hurt as hard as Monica hurt me, but still, I liked Zoya.I think living single was far better. Women are complicated. I don't think I can make any woman happy. What a mess.