hi there! 👋
how are you guys doing??
it's been more than 12 months (i guess) since the last time i published a story..
some things happened, and i'm so overwhelmed by it. and because of that, evertyhing around me become a mess. a total crazy mess..
i know i need to get away for a while, but i can't. well, more like i can't afford it
the mess becomes more and more chaotic, and i can't fix it. i don't know what to do, and i don't even know to whom should i talk to about my problems. i've went to a psychologist (or therapist? i don't know) once, few months ago to find out what happened to me.
anyhow, that's not why i'm coming today. just wanna share a story of mine. soo, these few months, i'm kinda have this dream. a weird but beautiful, continuous dream
so, i was dating this nice guy, like, a really green flag man i've ever met. i don't remember the name of even the face, but i know that i love him. and then, we got married. it was a beautiful outdoor wedding with a view of the sky and some kind of forest, i think. people around us were happy for us, wishing us to have a great journey in this marriage
it was a happy marriage life, we fought, of course, but we could solve the problem right away. not too much being lovey dovey but, well, he could be the most romantic man in the world, and i'm not someone who fancy romantic things. and then, pregnancy happened. it was quite a journey i might say. the cravings, morning sickness, the mood. but i enjoyed every single moment of it.
now, here's a little thing that was missed in that dream. the pain and the hurt. i don't feel hurt if there was someone tried to hurt me by their action or words, nor when something bad happened. i almost didn't feel or even remember the pain when i gave birth to my kids (yup, i have more than one, people).
the dreams were happened occasionally, but it will continue from the last moment of my previous dream before i woke up
was it weird? should i go seek some help? any suggestion???
well, that's all fornow.. see you some other time, hopefully...
---
24년 08월 11일
KAMU SEDANG MEMBACA
My ATEEZ Stories (a very slow update)
FanficLAPAK NYA B X B GA SUKA, TINGGAL PENCET ANAK PANAH DI POJOK KIRI ATAS, GA USAH SOK SIBUK REPORT ATAU NGEDUMEL GA JELAS!! update nya suka-suka, jadi ga perlu dibaca dan jangan ditungguin karena diriku nyangkut di ateez setelah ngeliat joong dan hwa l...
