TW: Thoughts of Suicide, depression
I want to scream,
but I cannot
I open my mouth,
yet no noise comes out,
I want to rid myself of this stress,
I want to rid myself of the frustrations
There are raging thoughts in my mind,
they never calm, no matter what I try
they are like a thunderstorm,
loud, scary, seemingly endless,
they consume my thoughts,
clouding my mind
The world seems to be against me,
testing me, putting me through trials,
seeing how I react,
testing my strength,
however I fear I do not have the strength to go on
Too many things are testing me, haunting me,
testing my strength and patience
I fear one day I may snap,
lose all semblance of my sanity,
rid myself of this world
I hope that day will not come,
however, I am confused,
confused about what my calling is,
confused why I am being tested like this
what did I do to deserve these trials,
I am unsure, and it only makes the storm worse.
I want to scream but I cannot
to voice these concerns, to help ease my thoughts,
but I cannot, and I wish I could
despite this, there is a voice in my head
keeping me calm, helping to ease my thoughts,
it comforts me, tells me everything will be okay,
telling me everything will be worth it,
but for how long will this help?
I do not know what to do,
I want to express these concerns,
But I cannot articulate the words to do so,
like a scream, I try, but no sound leaves my lips,
I wish it did,
for it may provide some sunshine,
in the storm of thoughts in my mind.
As my pen glides across the page,
filling it with my words, my thoughts,
I feel my sanity being restored, bringing me peace,
i know it is momentary,
until my next trial,
but it is nice to have even a small moment of peace
I feel a darkness looming,
one that may mean I snap,
rid myself from this world,
but there are lights,
and these lights,
even the small ones,
keep me hopeful, keep me sane
will these lights be swallowed by the darkness?
I do not know, but I hope they push it away
helping me to see clearly,
helping me to pass these trials
I hope that one day, it will be clear, I will know why I have been placed through these trials,
why the world has tested me,
until that day comes,
I hope the lights will continue to shine
guiding me, helping me to see the meaning of my life
I will do my best to wait for that day
YOU ARE READING
Like Petals Under a Tree
Poetry"My thoughts fall and gather on a page, like that of petals under a tree." A collection of poems, of varying lengths and genres. Each poem has it's own theme, and the words string together to convey that theme and the meaning blooms. Cover designed...
