Match Point

Chapter 27: Encore

And trust me, it feels like an uproar in encore

When you ask of me

To walk that line

- "Encore," by Catfish and the Bottlemen

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From the moment I stepped into the hospital in February and saw Lettie waiting for me, she seemed fine. She seemed to be handling everything so well. Lettie had a little more anxiety and had another panic attack early on, but that seemed in the realm of normal, considering. Overall, she appeared to be normal and healthy. Everything for us as a couple seemed great, too, but there was something distant about her that I couldn't put my finger on.

We were amazing. I was, am, really happy. Our sex life was crazy; I had figured, like with normal relationships, it may get less active and even less now that we were truly living together, but it only got more active. Lettie was always trying to come up with ways for us to spend unique time together, as was I. I was doing little things here and there for her to lift her spirits and support and encourage her. But, there was still something that felt off, and it gnawed at me. It felt like it was something I had done, too, but I don't think I had.

It took us about a month to find a place we both liked that wasn't too far from her shop and still in a nice area in East London. We found a four-bedroom townhouse that Lettie loved, and we both loved, but she didn't want it because it was too expensive. We looked at so many other places after that, and she didn't light up the way she did for this place. Lettie kept talking about it and it being a goal to get us into a place like it. I finally went and bought it. I had wanted a place in London even before I met Lettie, so it didn't feel impulsive, but maybe it was; we only talked about renting a place. Perhaps I was trying to diminish the distance I had felt from her by doing something so grand, too?

Lettie was so excited but also so angry with me for doing it behind her back. We had a blowout fight, but in the end, we discussed rules and accountability for both of us. Lettie was feeling guilty about the money and her current situation. I knew she wasn't with me for my fame or money, so I didn't care about the expense when I was doing it. Still, the money was a massive issue for her-the imbalance of finances. Lettie didn't want me to resent her for her smaller contributions, which was funny to me because I was still waiting for her to resent me for not being able to be with her sooner after the attack, which I felt was a bigger deal than money. Maybe that's what I was feeling. Was the divide just my projections of her resenting me?

The fight was a test for us, too, and we came out of it stronger. Lettie was so excited to move in, decorate, and set up a sewing room in one of the bedrooms. But I still felt the distance at the back of my mind.

We were able to move in a week before I had to leave and go back on the road, which wasn't ideal, but at least we'd be in.

"I got you something," Lettie smiled as we drove over to our new place.

"Aye?" I smiled as I looked at her quickly. I pulled up in front of our new place, putting the car into park.

"Open it," Lettie handed me a black box and smiled at me, waiting for me to open her gift.

I opened the box. She had put the house keys on a beautiful gold and black enamel Sheffield rose. "I had The Great Frog make it for you," Lettie beamed. I still felt a pang of distance in the way she looked at me.

"It's beautiful, darlin'," I leaned across and kissed her twice.

"We are about to walk into our own place," Lettie squealed as she took off her seatbelt and got out of the car, waiting for me on the sidewalk.