[Xaden x Y/n] Love on the Parapet

Chapter 23

Xaden's pov

I push open the door to the infirmary to find Y/n protesting at the healers to let her leave, Imogen simply chewing her gum as she picks at her nails. Garrick tries to calm Y/n down back to the bed, her visibly growing irritated at him before all of them fall silent seeing me approach them. 

'They will think I'm stupid if I stay here.' She argues, shoving the healer's hand away from her shoulder. 'I manifested a signet, that's not a reason to keep me here.' Y/n says, the healers disagreeing with her in an instant.  

'She's a fire wielder. Surprise.' Imogen says sarcastically, without looking up from her painted nail. 

'What happened, exactly?' I ask, not understanding why they were keeping her here when all she did was manifest a signet. 'Congratulations.' I say confusedly, Y/n waving me off as I try my best not to sound concerned to not irritate her even more. 

'I said I'm fine-'

'She...wasn't expecting her dragon to channel that much power. So she was nearly burnt out, but she managed in the end.' Garrick replies instead, making Y/n rub her face in frustration. 'They just need to check over everything's fine with her.' He adds, ignoring Y/n glaring at him through her parted fingers over her face. 

'And they're not believing me when I-'

'You what?' I ask before I can even stop, Y/n throwing her head back as if to suggest that she knew I would react like this. But I ignore her reaction as I step closer to her, knowing how dangerous burnout can be. 'What happened?'

'He explained. I didn't know how to channel through. I couldn't release the power in time but I still did it, okay?' She replies, looking up at resisting the healers checking her over in movements that I never understood what they were exactly looking for. 'It happens. Hwad knew I could do it, that's why she channeled. No need to panic.' She says, blocking my questions before I can even speak them. 

'And you were going to tell me when?' I ask again, knowing that the first year's flight training had ended hours ago, and I had to find out about Y/n's whereabouts from Sorrengail. She had tried to explain when Liam and I were training her, but we both had come to the infirmary myself. Y/n sighs as she rubs her face again. 

'I wasn't going to.' She says curtly in a quiet voice, her eyes avoiding mine. 'I was just going to tell you that I manifested a signet. A fire.' She replies, leaning back onto the pillow and glancing over at the windows. 

Y/n's pov

'Why would you want to keep what happened to me?' Xaden asks, him now seated beside you on the bed. You look over at him, dark onyx eyes staring down at you as you shift on the bed. 

Because you are so busy with everyone. 

You already have enough to worry about.

You already have to worry about Violet dying. 

'It's embarrassing how I can't even receive power from my own dragon.' You say instead, crossing your arms in the hopes that it makes you look like you're saying the truth. But you knew Xaden. He can sniff lies from you from miles away. 

'I didn't think I was that untrustworthy.' He replies, his brows lifting. 'Tell me.' He orders, and you sigh, staring at the ceiling. 

'You have enough things to worry about. And I'm alive, so what's there to discuss. I can deal with myself and my own dragon.' You reply, and you admit that sounded a little too aggressive than it needed to be, but you can't exactly stop your tongue after going through so much for one day. Xaden stays silent when you glance at him, expecting him to look frustrated with you, but his expression only turns apologetic. 

'You thought I didn't have time for you because I was training Violet?' You flinch at her name, which to your dismay, Xaden does not miss. 'Y/n.' You hate yourself for how apologetic he sounds. 

'That's not true.' You reply, but you know that Xaden wouldn't believe you. 

'I always have time for you. I told you, you are my priority even when our dragons are mated together. That won't come between us.' You mentally punch yourself at feeling bitter when he ways "our" dragon. Not Sorrengail, but "Violet". So trivial compared to the situation that Xaden was in. 

'What if I don't want to be?' You ask, Xaden's expression looking thrown aback, which is extremely rare given his natural mask. He reaches for you, but you move out of his way. 'I want you to prioritise yourself. I hate myself for failing everything and you have to clean up after my shit. And now that I say that, see? You want to fix me again.' You reply as Xaden squeezes you against him. 

'Me caring for you isn't me cleaning after your mess.' He says simply, the warmth prickling your eyes finally for the first time after you dismounted Hwad and were brought to the infirmary. The tension leaves your muscles, the terror you felt back in the air flushing all back to you in his arms. 'And I don't feel obligated to keep you safe. I do it because I want to.' He says again, and somehow, you believe him. Of course he wants you to be safe, just like you want to do that for Xaden too, however weaker you were compared to Xaden. 

But all the evidence pointed to the fact that you were holding him back. Even today, he had to stop training Violet, someone literally tied to his own life, to come and see you fighting with healers to let you out? Xaden waits for you to say something, but you bite your tongue from saying something worse about yourself that he never lets you say. 

'I'm hungry. Let's just go to get dinner.' You blurt out instead of replying to him, and somehow Xaden also drops the topic and pulls away from you. 'They have pudding today. I'm not missing pudding just because I almost died.' 

Xaden's pov

'So, are you going with Y/n to the winter solstice ceremony?'

Violet asks in my head as I sit beside Y/n in the dining room, Liam sitting next to her on a separate table. I try to block her out as Y/n says something, but Violet speaks again. 

'Did you tell Liam to ask me?' 

'No.' I reply, rolling my eyes. Of course, Liam asked her out to the solstice ceremony in a few days. Not that he would be with anyone else then, because he was still to keep Violet's and therefore my head attached to my neck even on winter solstice. 

'Okay, so I have a real date then.' 

'I'm blocking you out now.' 

'Yeah, yeah. I was just becoming less scared of you, but okay now you don't want to talk to me. Daily girlfriend time. She almost blasted me with her fire today but okay.'

'You should have not been flying so closely in the first place' I say back into the bond, watching Y/n get the plate of pudding from Garrick's hand looking more happy than she should be. She turns to me, looking confused as I blink. I turn to the other table where Violet and Liam are sitting, Violet rolling her eyes at me and Y/n.

'Xaden?' Y/n asks, and I realise she asked a question that I didn't catch. 

'Sorry.' I reply, Garrick and Bodhi exchanging a look. 'What did you say?' I say again, Y/n glancing at Bodhi before turning back to me.

'It's the first time in three years we are all together for winter solstice. It'll be great, don't you think?'