[Xaden x Y/n] Love on the Parapet

Chapter 50

Y/n's pov

You see the cold grey eyes lacking any remorse, or any human feelings at all. He smiles, reaching his palms out to you, and grabbing your finger. Your arm hangs at an unnatural angle as he soothes your pinkie, giving no warning before he snaps the bone backward. You feel yourself scream, your throat numb from overuse. The officer laughs as he takes the next finger, and the next, and the next...

'Shhh.' Imogen whispers sleepily against your head as you jolt up from another nightmare, the air dark in your room. She holds you tightly, the only calming thing about this night being her soothing whispers like they always used to in foster care years ago. You and Liam constantly had nightmares of the war, especially you of the cursed torture chamber. For the parts you couldn't remember because you were passed out, your brain did wonders to fill it in with worse horrors.

'Go to sleep.' Imogen says quietly again, wiping your forehead off the cold sweat. You breathe in your found sister's scent, so familiar.

'Sorry.' You whisper back, Imogen only squeezing you tighter, her pink hair splayed over her face where they made shadows from the silver moonlight. Feeling your gaze, Imogen peeks her eyes open, removing the pink strands from her face. 'I didn't mean to wake you up.' You say, watching Imogen force a smile onto her face through the fatigue and rubbing her eyes before forming a small mage light overhead, the room dimly lighting up in gold.

'I can't sleep very well anyway.' She replies, shifting to face you properly.

'Why not?' You ask, even though you know the answer.

'You know. Varrish. Knowing who he is. What he's capable of. It's been a while since we did this too.' Imogen says quietly, referring to you both talking overnight in an attempt to shoo away the nightmares in the foster home, but had developed into just taking the opportunity to talk about anything and everything when you returned to Aretia. You appreciated her trying to spend more time with you since a few months ago, but now Imogen's eyes fill with resentment and sorrow looking down at you. You feel her gaze shift over to your limbs, breath catching inside her throat, lips trembling in the corners for a split second. You know that Imogen always felt bad when she saw your smaller figure, since you yourself sometimes used to wonder how you would have looked if you had grown properly. How stronger you would have been.

'Yeah.' You whisper instead, placing your hands on your stomach as if it would stop her from looking at you with such a painful expression. She seems to note your slight discomfort as she shakes her head and smiles, her fingers brushing your hair. You settle into her soothing touch, appreciating how you all could be so close to each other when the only the world had taught you is to never trust, take whatever you can, fight, and kill for your life. The others still saw you all as rebels, or groups that should be feared, be avoided...but they never saw this side of Imogen.

The caring side of Xaden. His vulnerable side. The part you all never let anyone see because showing that you care, your weakness will be the end of you.

Gods, Xaden.

You wonder if he knows what is going on in Basgiath. You instantly feel worried about his reaction if he finds out that the vice commandant is Varrish now, the exact person that broke you over and over until your bones were beyond full recovery. He had insisted that he would be seeing you every two weeks however hard you tried to push him away before he left for Samara. Xaden would find out some way or another, sooner than later.

'You're thinking of Xaden, aren't you.' Imogen states, her pink lips pursing even though her fingers through your hair never stop. You sigh, nodding. There was no point lying to Imogen since like the rest of your friends, she saw right through you every time. 'You still love him.' She states again, not a question either.

'I can't though.' You reply, despite however much you want to disagree with yourself. 'I can't trust him to be honest about everything with me. I get that he has to prioritise his life linked to Violet most of the time. I got over that. But...when he hid that mated dragons can influence the riders' feelings...maybe I have too high expectations in his perspective, so we'd both be unhappy if we carried on.' You say, and Imogen considers your words, shifting to place her head on her hand, lying sideways.

'I don't see why honesty is such a high expectation. And by the way, you two looked more happy together than right now when you're not together.' She replies, and you nod, feeling conflicted all over again.

'I know. But I can't risk myself being hurt by him anymore. I don't think I'll last.' You say, picking at your fingertips trying not to remember Xaden's features you know so well. Imogen only nods, considering you silently as you look up at the ceiling before replying. You had an inkling that she wanted you and Xaden to make up, but she doesn't say it out loud.

'We should try to get some sleep, though. We're back in this hellhole after all.' Imogen says, diminishing the mage light above and laying her head on the pillow. You turn to face her on the bed, Imogen pulling the blanket over the both of you. Letting you close your eyes, she hums, the old Tyrrish lullaby that parents used to sing before the war that destroyed everything. Despite everything, you let yourself slip into sleep, Imogen's tune also disappearing at some point.

Xaden's pov

The past few days went excruciatingly slow, waiting every second for the weekend when I could check on Y/n. I was starting to worry less about myself and Y/n's issue, the idea of Varrish looming over the whole college, and Y/n nauseating me to my stomach. I kept pestering Violet every hour asking if anything had happened to Y/n, to which she told me that Y/n seemed fine.

'Don't look at me like that.' Sgaeyl says as I get on top of her back, and I must have given her a glare without even realising. I understood why she had ignored my request, but the anxiety I felt for not being able to see and talk to Y/n myself was too great.

'We go.' I reply instead, Sgaeyl's wide blue wings beating with force as we lift into the air. 'I get it. But you'll have to deal with me being stressed because I've left Y/n with the worst human on Earth.' I say, and I can already guess Sgaeyl rolling her eyes.

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After a few hours, we land on the flight field of Basgiath. The view is serene, familiar and alien at the same time, unlike the reality of the college. Sgaeyl roars in pleasure as she senses Tairn nearby, and I get off of her back onto the grass. I nod back at Sgaeyl to let her go find Tairn, and rush toward the rider's quarters myself.

I find Y/n, her lips parting slightly as she gets off her red daggertail on the opposite side of us. Even from the distance, I notice her small figure is tense, the stress showing on her. Y/n stares at me, her eyes flashing for a second before she stops as if to remember she can't approach me. She turns as I get closer, although she doesn't walk away.

'Y/n.' I call, finding some solace in the fact that she doesn't disappear from me. I scan her from head to toe for any injuries, turning her around. She stays still, although I sense that she is relieved that I came, the first thing I've done being finding her. Before I can stop myself, I pull her closer, tucking her head under mine. She inhales sharply, although she stays still as I squeeze her tight. 'You're fine.' I say, to calm myself down as much as soothing Y/n.

'Ah.' I hear a voice behind me and I turn, Y/n still securely in my arms. I feel her grow tense again, the cold grey eyes staring back at me. 'We meet again.' Varrish says, and Y/n trembling in my arms sending the blinding rage down my spine. Varrish gives her a twisted smile, a knowing one,  making Y/n flinch, her red lips pursing nervously.

'See you around, officer Riorson.' Varrish says again, pointing at me before turning to leave. I feel my blood heat up, the only thing keeping me from ripping him apart right now being Y/n frozen in my arms, her unusually terrified eyes fixated on Varrish.

Author's note: i'm moving back to uni soon so may not update daily but we get shit w Varrish sooonnm