The Scars Run So Deep

So Close... So Far

'Forever I will love you, for there is nothing in this world I want to do but love you and to be with you, now and forever. Till the oceans dry, till the sun dims, I'll still be loving you forever and for eternity. ' - Jowenson Ian Sy

I lay there looking at Lucas, I could have pinched myself to actually believe that I was here and he was here, one room and it was just us. I was back in England and with Lucas here and alive, I was home. Truly home. Harry had left us about an hour ago and I hadn't moved from his side, this was where I belonged, where we all belonged – together. Stroking his face, the start of a dark beard from the time he had been in coma covering his face but just making his blue eyes shine all the brighter because of it, though of course I loved him without the facial hair I thought I could get used to this look if he wanted to keep it. I felt those magnetic eyes staring at me as I lay still feeling his heart beat it's soft steady rhythm that calmed me almost lulling me to sleep.

“You're worried about something Elena, I can tell. You're keeping something from me and it's bothering you. Talk to me, as I've said to you before, let me in.”

Lucas North, was too bloody smart for his own good was my first thought. Surely it was too soon to tell him, to turn his entire world on its axis? Taking a deep breath I tried to calm myself down – it was too soon, he didn't need me telling him he was going to be a father now. There would be all the time in the world, well... certainly a month before I needed to.

“No sweetheart, just relieved to have you back with me. I've felt lost without you – I was so scared I had lost you forever. Harry, he... just refused to listen to anyone...”

Pulling my closer to him, I felt the soft sigh escape – Lucas didn't believe me but wouldn't push me further. We had discovered in our short and somewhat fraught time together that neither of us would open up and confess our deep dark fears until we were ready, so, until the time was ready we would carry on as normal. Like now, we would just skim over the surface and pretend that we both knew there was a problem.

“We just have to believe my love, that Harry had no choice like he said. Time will heal our hurt and we have one another, with Alexander now gone we can try and have a normal relationship because, Elena, I couldn't imagine not having you in my life. You are my equal in every way.

Now I just have to persuade a doctor to let me go home. I've been still too long, I need my own things, my own space and to stop feeling like an invalid. Though, I guess they won't let me leave just yet – may have to sneak out instead.”

His conspiratorial wink made me laugh, he was in no fit state to leave just yet, but I pitied any doctor who told him he had to stay here. When my boyfriend? yes, I guess boyfriend wanted something he tended to get that, I'd seen it first hand and heard the stories from Beth, Dimitri and Lucas himself. The doctor who said no to him would be very sorry...

“Lucas, I don't think they'll let you just yet... you've barely been out of the coma a day! There'll be tests they need to do I imagine. Sweetheart, you're going to have to be patient and then you can go home to your apartment. I know Dimitri has been there to check on it for you and Beth too....”

The look of curiosity crossed his face at the mention of his apartment. He of course, had no idea how close the three of us had become, maybe I needed to tell him that they'd gone and broken several rules to keep me in the loop. Beth and Dimitri had both risked their jobs by refusing to give up the friendship we had built under such fragile and bizarre circumstances.

“Beth and Dimitri stood by me Lucas, they refused to cut all contact with me when I had to leave the country. In fact Beth and I have spoken every night since you were in here for hours on end, I guess this whole mess gave me two things I never expected to find – you my love, and friends in those two.