[UshiTen: Just another rainy day in Paris]

Part 1

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Ushijima Wakatoshi lost all focus.

Today's game was a disaster.

And it got so bad that both his Captain, and his Coach sat him down, right after, and had a serious talk with him. It was more of an intervention.

Well, they talked. He listened. They were right.

- Dear boy, take a month off practice. Rest. Sort your stuff. It will do you a world of good. I think this is burn-out, and it's no good for anyone on the team.

He didn't need to hear those words. He had been telling himself the same, for a long time now.

At first, he was able to compensate for this. At first, he was near, after all. Getting to be with him made things bearable, even if they only talked as friends, even if Wakatoshi only watched him from afar. But it was bearable, he could still compensate.

And then, it was a new day, and Satori was not near any more. In the literal sense. He was nowhere near him, and he was lost, he suddenly lost his footing. Clenching his fists, and his teeth, and arguing with himself in his own head, Ushijima was doing his ultimate best to focus on the important things, on his future, his career, his game. His sport.

He had done the impossible to focus on all of those. But a certain crooked smile plagued him, and didn't let him sleep.

Tendō left. He left Japan; he went overseas, to study for the most unexpected profession. But did it really matter? Sure, many people mourned the loss of such a talented blocker, but Wakatoshi had never doubted that Satori had many talents, not just volleyball. After all, he was still in love with him.

For a long time, he could not grasp the difference between a "crush" and being "in love". But as the months passed, months without his friend, and as the young men in his circle got in relationships, broke up, and then got to be fascinated with altogether different new people, he slowly understood. The simplest explanation: a crush was temporary. A love didn't let you sleep at night. For years.

He heard rumors about the loud red-head, but he never commented. He never spoke about him in front of anybody. He carried his sorrow in his heart, buried deep, deeper than six-feet-under, because it was a well-kept secret.

And it was eating at him, it was torturing him, all the possibilities of what might have been. His focus was lacking, his performance suffered, and, as more months passed, he started slacking on practice, and even ignored his usual daily routine. Things were falling apart, his world was falling to pieces, because...

Even though Wakatoshi never talked about it, and he truly tried to keep apart from all gossip about ex-classmates from the Shiratorizawa Academy, the crush (he hoped) was taking strong roots into the depth below the sixth foot under, and it was, slowly, unbeknownst to anyone, turning into love. The reason the dark-haired youth could not sleep at night.

Initially, his strong, fit body was able to adjust, catch up, and he ignored his irritability and mood swings. He suppressed it all, he disowned his feelings, trying to detach himself completely from them – he didn't need them, it was all hopeless.

But the more you push a lid over a seething volcano, the more likely it is for it to blast your brains away. Right?

Things got so bad, he got so absent-minded, often daydreaming in the middle of noon practice, that people got worried that he might be sick. Of course, Ushijima would brush it all away, lightly, assuring everybody that he was just fine. Maybe a little bit tired. Nervous before the match. Well... the stress, and...