[UshiTen: Just another rainy day in Paris]

Part 10

He lay on his back, trying to fall asleep now, but his brain was overstimulated by all the excitement tonight. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Wakatoshi-kun, flying, as if he weighed nothing, for that jump-serve. Or that block. Or that spike... His imagination was reviving the image, the familiar pictures, and he was telling himself that all that force, energy, stamina – all of it! – was at his disposal. Every day. Every night. If he ever wanted it.

All of Wakatoshi's youth, and health, and support, and adoration... All of his warm kisses, all of his tender touching... All of it could be his. Again.

He had thrown it all away, 5 years ago, and he had come to regret the day bitterly. He had never even dared to hope that Ushijima would ever want him back... And now that kiss... just one kiss... It had been a bomb thrown in the middle of the status quo, changing everything.

He didn't regret kissing back. He wasn't ashamed of it. If anything – he missed it. He missed him. His warmth, strength, tenderness. His care, his patience. His quiet love.

Unable to sleep at all now, he wondered – did all of this mean he was gay too? He actually thought about it coolly.

No. he was not attracted to guys, had never been. Truth be told, he rarely noticed women too. But he had always been fascinated by Wakatoshi-kun. True, in a different way, but still. Before his adventure in Paris, he could not recall even thinking about another in a romantic way.

Now? Now he could not get the memory out of his head. It was haunting him.

Not because he had kissed a boy. But because he had kissed Wakatoshi-kun.

Tendō Satori focused on the kiss

Because he didn't want to focus on the words.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you!

I love you...

He tried to go to sleep with those words, ringing between his ears. He failed.

Next morning, he bitterly regretted telling damned Semi-Semi to meet up at 10 o'clock, because coffee didn't work that morning, no matter how charming the sun-rise was.

***

- Dude, you look like shit. – Semi mocked, watching a tired-looking Satori trudge up to him and raise his hand in a limp salute.

- Ugh. Don't get me started. The damned Olympics! Dammit! – Tendō moaned.

They got the promised ice-cream, and it made things a little better, now strolling slowly through the park, looking for a bench in a shady place where they could park themselves for a longer chat. Ever since Paris, Satori had a thing about sitting in cafés in general.

They did, and they finished their ice-cream, but somehow the cheering and happy screams of children and dog owners all around them only made the atmosphere heavier.

- How have you been? – Eita asked carefully after about half an hour was totally wasted in dog-gazing.

- I'm OK. – Tendō answered slowly. – We are OK.

- You said so last night, yeah... I was wondering what it meant.

The red-head turned his head slowly and now squinted his eyes at the slightly flushed Semi Eita.

- If you wanna ask stupid questions – just do it. We've known each other for years. – he spat out now, unimpressed. He was used to this.

The silver-haired man just fumbled with the hem of his T-shirt, feeling uncomfortable for some reason. Talking about other people's personal life among friends had never been a problem for him, but somehow, when it came to Ushijima-san and Tendō-san... it all became... awkward.