[UshiTen: Just another rainy day in Paris]

Part 15

***

They didn't talk about it, not really, not ever.

But then they got inside, and Satori, embarrassed as hell, and started making tea for Wakatoshi, and then served two gigantic pieces of cake for breakfast, and did his best to avoid all the questions in the dark eyes.

They sat next to each other on the only two chairs in the kitchen, and he stuttered quietly, poking at his cake:

- This was good. I wanna feel this good all the time. Am I selfish?

Ushijima just shook his head, insanely flushed, still terribly ashamed of what he had just done. He sipped on his tea, even though it was still quite hot, and dared not look up.

They were eating their breakfast in silence, and Ushijima really wanted to praise the chef, as it was a super delicious cake, which was successfully smashing his diet to smithereens. But it seemed that he was lacking any and all words, it was an awkward silence alright.

But then, it was Satori who spoke, saying it all:

- Wakatoshi-kun, can we not discuss it? I am so tired of all this relationship shi---.... stuff. Can I just ask you one thing?

The taller man nodded, staring at his food, and now placing the special small-sized fork on the table. Had Satori bought those? He hadn't noticed. Those were probably special ones. Just for dessert.

He waited. His heart was beating too fast again. He felt that he had been too pushy, and that probably had repelled Satori, and he wanted to leave now.

- I... I wanna ask... to be clear... I mean... If you want me to leave, you must tell me so. I just can't take a fling thing right now. If this is just... you know... nothing but some fun... a joke... to you... I just... I can't. I won't be able to go through this... And I know that I am pretty useless, I am no match for you... but... I need to know... I mean... I need to know today, before things get far too serious... for me... I... I don't wanna be the one who's hurt, Wakatoshi-kun... It's been too much!

Wakatoshi was gaping now, staring at him as if he was an alien. Satori was blushing and obviously having a hard time formulating his question. His words made no sense, though, and it made him frown.

- What...are you saying??? – he snapped, and it sounded a lot harsher than he had intended it to.

Satori's long, fine fingers were subconsciously fumbling with the identical mini fork, his own piece of cake unfinished too. He reached out and trapped that fluttering pale creature in his big, clumsy fingers, making it stop, letting it rest.

Tendō looked up and his eyes were full of tears. Wakatoshi could not understand. He had thought that Satori was happy, just like him.

- I guess my question is... Do you want me to stay? I feel extremely bad for just moping around here, I know I am a burden for you... And I could leave... if you ask me to. I just... I feel things between us are getting serious... And I... I am not sure what those amazing kisses mean, Wakatoshi-kun. I don't know what your "I love you.-s" mean. I have heard too many of those, and they had meant nothing. Just empty words. Hurtful words. And I need to know. Because... I cannot take any more heartache. I just...

Wakatoshi could not listen any more of this. He stood up, and he pulled the fragile-looking man up too. His hand cupped Satori's cheek, and he spoke, loud and clear:

- Please, stop. Your words cut through my heart, like a knife! I want you to stay! I dream of you to stay with me... My life is empty without you... You make everything better, Satori-kun... All I've said – I mean it. Everything. How can this be a fling? Do you know how much you mean to me???