Blue Unveiled | Hyunlix

Chapter 34

Jeongin stands in the middle of the empty house, staring down at Minho's flannel jacket, unable to bring himself to throw it out. It's not because he still loves him or misses the time he thought he did.

He keeps the jacket as a reminder of the cruel times he was in love. A reminder to never show his weak spots, never fall in love, and never wish to be shown off to his lover's friends.

Minho never did any of those things. Minho made Jeongin question every moment if he was truly loved because he never once felt like it. Minho told people that Jeongin was just a friend. While those people didn't matter, Jeongin stuarted to care when Minho told his coworker that he was just a guy he banged.

Falling in love with Minho might have been his first childish mistake. The second was cheating on him. Now, he's paying for it.

This morning, on his way back from university, he saw Minho with Jisung at the cafe. They seemed closer than friends should be.

He has no right to be jealous, so Jeongin tries to push those feelings away. Annie texted him, saying she's meeting up with Felix this evening and asked him to come along to make sure she doesn't chicken out.

Asking Jeongin to do that is ambitious.

He doesn't hate Felix. If anything, he finds Felix unapproachable at university, which was the main reason he said hi to him in the first place. But that was before he knew Minho was his brother. And before Felix forgot Annie ever existed.

He despises the fact that they are so much alike. Felix is everything Jeongin wants to be. He's Felix from years ago, before he came out to his parents, before he learned to accept himself and allow himself to be happy.

Before he realized that being rejected by your first love, doesn't mean you have to reject yourself, or except rejection from every person you encounter.

Despite this, Jeongin was sure they would make great friends, if he never met Minho. And if he didn't pick Annie up from that cottage.

~

Felix and Annie sit across from each other, while Jeongin just sips his coffee, his arms crossed on his chest, and annoyance evident on his face. He clearly doesn't want to be there.

Annie fiddles with her straw, glancing at Felix with a soft smile, "I've missed this, " she says, breaking the ice. "I've missed us talking."

Felix nodded, "Me too. I should have reached out sooner, but everything just got so... complicated."

"I know. " Annie replies, "I'm sorry, it got messy."

"After all, you both owe me an explanation. " Felix says, eyeing both Annie and Jeongin. The latter just raises an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"I don't owe you anything." He shots back, making Felix chuckle.

"You do, pretty. You were all nice to me in university, you don't think I forgot that, do you?"

Jeongin places his coffee on the table, leaning back with a smirk. "Are you flirting with me right now?"

Felix laughs, "flirting? I have a boyfriend. Besides, two bottoms can't make a top."

"As if it matters." Jeongin mutters, rolling his eyes.

Annie swallows a laugh at her bickering, but then composes herself, her expression turning serious. "Jeongin is my best friend. Remember the guy I had a crush on for ages? That was Jeongin. I never told you his name because our families are close, and I feared they'd force us to date.. I was so desperately in love that I didn't mind him sleeping with me only to experiment what he's orientation was. I let him use me before and after he dated your brother, which I never knew."

"Before you start hating me, she never told me about her feelings. I thought we were just having fun." Jeongin chimes in defensively.

"Just continue." Felix finally says, his tone sharp.

Annie looks down at her fingers, her voice growing even softer. "I started dating Jisung because he was nice. I thought I could forget Jeongin, but the moment he needed me, I ran to him. That night at the cottage, I called him to pick me up because Jisung was getting jealous of how much I talked to Jeongin."

"Why leave Jisung if you were only talking to Jeongin as a friend?" Felix asked, puzzled.

Annie bitterly smiles to herself, "because I hated myself for lying. I still loved Jeongin, not just as a friend."

"Oh..." Felix shakes his head, his gaze shifting to Jeongin, "how are you guys still friends after all that?!"

"I don't know, " Annie laughs, as if Felix made funniest joke of the year.

"She needs a friend with what she's going through. Since you left like her." Jeongin interjects, making Felix glare.

"I'd rather be alone than have a friend like you," Felix underlines word friend bitterly.

"Boys, enough." Annie whines, feeling the tension she knew would rise. She knew bringing Jeongin was risky, but she didn't want to face Felix alone.

Felix reaches across the table, squeezing her hand, "It's okay, Annie. I'm here now, okay?"

Jeongin watches them, feeling like a spectator in a play he has seen before. He takes another sip of coffee, trying not to feel like an outsider.

The bell above the door jingles, and Hyunjin walks in, someone trailing behind him. Hyunjin's face lights up when he sees Felix, and he makes a way to their table, pulling him into a warm embrace.

"Hey, you, " Hyunjin says softly, pressing a quick kiss on Felix's cheek before settling into the chair beside him. "Hope I'm not interrupting."

"Not at all, " Felix replies, his eyes bright with affection. "We were just catching up."

Jeongin eyes the couple, feeling the sense of jealousy surge through his veins. He wants to be in love again,  to feel loved. But it seem too late, he's too scared already.

The stranger, who came with Hyunjin, meanwhile, takes a seat next to Jeongin, without even looking at him, or saying hello. Annoying.

"Felix, Annie, this is Seungmin. My old friend, and now business partner. " Hyunjin introduces him and once again, Jeongin feels a painlike feeling in his chest. It is like he isn't even here.

He stands up slowly, looking like he doesn't want to leave, "I will talk to you later, Annie."

Jeongin was about to walk away, when someone grabbed his wrist, "you are free to join us. I can buy you coffee." The guy in the suit offers. Seungmin, was it?

"I can buy it myself, thanks." Jeongin snorts, sounding as bitter as always. But this is not how Felix remembers him from their small talks before lectures... Jeongin looks around the table, maybe he deserved to feel left out like this. "Have fun."

Jeongin walks out in a hurry, not leaving a minute for Annie to ask him to stay. The group settles into a comfortable rhythm, the conversation flowing easily, as Jeongin walks beside the clear glass wall down the street, he hears Felix say, "let's call Minho and Jisung too."

"Yeji will get here soon, and where the fuck are Changbin and Chan?"

"Right?! haven't seen them since Jisung's birthday party."

The thought of how this could have been his life echoes in Jeongin's mind, a loud reminder of what he lost. He swallows hard, trying to push back the lump in his throat as he walks away from what might have been.