Who's Laughing Now

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Awake. Morning. I didn't want to leave my bed.

Ally had gone for the day. I had a rare moment where I had little to do and no restless boredom at my side. Headaches, nope. Feelings- all present and accounted for. My entities- gone, just me, just Parker here.

I had surrendered to my delusion recognizing and destroying it in an instant. I felt better. Not sure why other than to say better.

The restless boredom that haunted me was no longer present. I had come to terms with my darkness battling it back. Normalization occurring. I get a shower. I get a set of clothes and put myself together.

Turning a corner as the day passed doing lite chores around the house, something new for me. I dabbled in some pet projects, newness.

I reached into myself. I found the rogue program called "feel at any cost" and canceled it. Cutting it off like that scene in Evil Dead 2 where Ash cuts his demon possessed hand off. Who's Laughing Now he'd scream in agony cutting off his hand. Recalibration required. It was peaceful. I didn't feel wrong any more.

Reality didn't change much other than my recognition of what it was- a game. I was in empress's game.

...

Back at the club.

This time on business.

Confirming aspects of the product we had installed. I sat in the bar, laptop glowing and I noticed something. Working in the bar like this allowed me the benefit of being here to destress all the while deny the girls as clearly it appears I'm working. Instead the girls would drive by, saying hi as if I too was in the managers harem.

Yes i was still in the game, the simulator glowed all around me but I was content, ready player?

I took a break and packed up my gear and headed to the back of the club. Often sitting in the back was relaxing- away from the dangers of ringside, back like an extra in the cast, potentially invisible from the desperate booths and chairs of engagement.

I wasn't desperate. I felt different. I was back to observing.

It was a busy night, lots of men crowded the chairs in front of me. The manager catches my eye and sits next to me. We talk about the business, the product and progress ahead. Men in front of us peer into their mobile phones ignoring the girls dancing in front of them and I chuckle a bit as the manager sees this and expresses his frustration. Was he losing power in his own simulator? Every game, every online world had its specification, its limits, its boundaries and its exploits. Today's always on generation were turning the strip club market on its head as customers would spend nearly as much time staring at the girls as they would at their phones.

I was content as a player. A new girl appeared in my view, she was tall, shapely, with nice hips, black hair, and wearing that throat choker- an accessory I loved seeing on a girl. She was working, visiting tables, dropping suggestions, looking for traction and continuing on her way.

"You look fun.." she said to me, her hair short and chaotic in a charming way. She grabbed my hand.

"Cause I am.." I said back at her smiling and then busting out in a big laugh.

"That's what I keep hearing..." she said her eyes widening. "That laugh!! I love that laugh." She said snuggling in closer. Was that a chair between us, perhaps not, she wanted my lap.

My laugh was one of my best assets. I was a big voiced guy perhaps but my laugh was one of a kind.

"You can power villages with that laugh.." she said chuckling her self, staring intently at me. It was true. Did the simulator glitch a second? Was the matrix about to bend to my will, to my laugh?

Her name was Sadee, but I renamed her Boardwalk, as in Boardwalk Empire. She had a jersey working girl vibe. She was a waitress during the week and worked weekends at the club- maximizing her earning power she'd later tell me. She carefully crafted her look and went on and on about it.

This made me think of the simplicity of Vera- her look was her confidence, beauty and personality. The clothes, the outfits were merely part of her persona building exercise, she'd look different ways but always the same Vera. Sadee on the other hand was crafting a specific continual look- miss Boardwalk Empire, she would always be that.

"You wanna dance?" Boardwalk asked.

I couldn't refuse. I wanted to try her out like trying out a new kite on sunny beach. How would she fly I wondered.

We went to the back and she proceeded with her initial setup. Every girl goes through this bit routine preparing for a dance. The guy sits while she does "something" getting into the zone of what is to occur next. I enjoyed comparing girls to Vera, my benchmark for a good time. Vera of course was a two part cocktail- sexy as hell and just as witty, how would Boardwalk fare I wondered.

She got into her groove establishing the rules, what I could touch vs not. I usually err'd on the side of no touch and see how the dance would go. I wanted the girl to stay in control, her dance, her simulation. I was the player now. I wanted to see her untapped, unbiased as to what I wanted- what was her natural Boardwalk state.

Too many moves, too fast, trying to hard- these are the thoughts I had in my head as she jumped all over the place, attempting one move after another. Finally I expressed myself.

"Calm yourself Boardwalk, you have a empire to gain..." I said softly attempting to restrain her a bit. She eased off, slowing her moves and smiling at me. She was heavier than Vera, a weight I enjoyed.

"I like that.." she said slowing her self more as I laughed. "That laugh!!" she said again, I could see the zeel in her eyes light up. "I love that laugh.." she said pressing against me.

Boardwalk was a good time. In a blink I was back in my chair and pondering what to do next. I decided to go back to the bar, back to work.

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