Casually Compromised - Book 1

Take Your Cash and Go

"So have you done anal?" Estella said.

There are few places in the world where conversations like this start I'd think to myself. Helluva ice breaker. Usually people start with Hi or the What's up? But not in a strip club. It's like your walking on to the main stage- and when a stripper wants to know anything no filter is present, ever.

"No.. haven't done it yet." I reply.

Here in my mid forties and no anal scout badge.

Liking losing a degree of charm, my allure, my cash less exciting to take I wonder. The wonders of anal exploration missing, my achievement noticeably missing, compromised once again. It's not like I didn't want to try it but yeah takes two to tango ya know.

I was hungry for another topic.

"How many do you need tonight?" I said, not that I cared.

Few girls rattled off exactly how many dances they needed like they are pushing for a evening quota. Vera never did that. If she did think in dance quotas she sure as hell didn't tell anyone.

"20.. and ya know you really need to experience it, sometime in your life..." Estella said clinging to me waiting for her shot to arrive. Another double yeager bomb. I'm too hard on Estella. She makes for a good bad girl. The villain. She's far more human that I gave her credit for. Over time I'd follow her on instagram and see the love she had for her daughter, the trails and difficulty she'd capture in her photography, her love for music. She was just like the rest of us really.

I joked and said hell why a double, do a quad get fucked up! She eagerly agreed. Cocktails where another form cash or dance extraction. I usually got the gal a cocktail to be respectful of their time. Sometimes company just wants company and no serious mind tricks of the flesh.

I was still losing.

She'd been hard at work lately attempting to establish a new pattern for me, a new focus- her. There were 50 guys in the club and four of them had a girl draped over them, I was one of them. The Chair of Misery collected nearly 5 other girls, the rest in close knit clusters, some grooving to the music, others annoyed with the men present.

Often a guy can't win really. Nor can a girl.

"I feel ugly." Gia told me earlier in the bar. She looked fine, I mean she was young, but i mean she had the package etc. Again new girls killing themselves to turn a trick. If they don't get what they feel they're worth or in her case, as much as her peers she's like trash in her mind.

"You're fine, confidence babe, stay with confidence." I said.

To be honest she was doing too much. Her hair, too much. Her outfit, too much. Her spray on tattoos for the night, too much. There's a reason why girls next door are the number one fantasy for most men, simple, mysterious, attractive, wonder. Every layer on a girl adds a degree of complexity in the interpretation of what you'll find under neath.

Cash wasn't flowing as expected and the girls were not pleased.

Back to Estella...

"It's on my bucket list.." I replied, lying. I could see it now- meet pope, live in Japan, do anal, sure sure it's on the list. Why was the crow here? I didn't beckon her over, was my being an asshole attracting the very woman I really didn't care for that much? In my general ignoring her I in fact was attracting her and the stupid in me sure as hell didn't mind the leg on the lap.

Girls calculate their 2 for 1 windows. They always want the dance to go further tho. Maybe you'll stumble, as I often did with Vera and just fuck it, room.

Midway thru my 2 for 1 with the dark crow she exploded on me...

"What are we gonna do when she gets back?" The crow squaked in an effort to claim something that wasn't.

"What do you mean?" I replied knowing full well what she meant but I wanted to hear the struggle, the bullshit to exude from her lips, how dramatic it must be.

Estella was called to the stage as I found a chair in the back. She towered over the main stage, clearly the tallest woman in this club.

"You should watch Vikings.. you're like one of those gals ya know, european look, tall as fuck, I mean lets get you a shield." I said joking.

"I don't want to be a viking, i'm just a girl." she said sounding hopeless.

I'm not used to the total dismay of a stripper, a new act? A stripper giving all the cues of save me all the while establishing another pattern of cash absorption?

Estella slinked her way down the ring of the stage as ringside douche bags threw crumpled dollars at her. WTF is up with that I wondered. Why crumple up the dollar and throw it at that girl. It was like a reflection of my own treatment toward her- calling her a dark crow, thinking of her as evil, thrown away. Karma set the stage to tell me more lessons in a glance, nature, universe, always educating.

I'm sure there are those that would say the first one to give in is the loser, or the sucker, but humility had few badges to gain, all within your own.

Estella I figure prided herself on her darkness, her objection of the norm, most girls seemed to adopt a pattern of who they think they are in the club. Who was she outside this place, I wonder.

She was pretty but her evilness was lacking as of late. My persona of her changing form, depressing, I thought I nailed her. She appeared more and more erratic lately- act or real didn't matter I didn't want any part of it. There was no foreseen course of action or stuff to do as Vera would emerge back on the scene. The arcade just keeps on purring people, bring your quarters, Galaga is returning from the beach as a hard as ever to play- thats the only truth I knew.

Estella was done with her dance, she walked around the room 2-3 times finding me again.

"So I can't figure you out..." she said sitting down, leg again on lap.

"What's there to figure?" I replied.

"You just do rooms with Vera, is that it?" She said, chipping away at my exterior, searching for the combination to my river of cash effect?

I enjoyed being sought, that was a fun feeling, even if it was in the end my own loss.

"I'm really not that complicated..." I said. Lies, good one Parker, you fooled no one with that statement. I looked on into the room and caught two girls holding an iPad staring at the software I put into the club to monitor patrons. Were they staring at me? Was my own software being used against me? Was I turned on, ready to convert?

In truth, I did want to room. I had room on the brain for 3 days now. I rattled off my potentials in my head. Estella wasn't on the list. I feared making a stronger connection there. Beverly, Boardwalk, though that gal was really into spanking- I dunno, maybe my kinks were too reserved, too simple? Had I approached the club for all the wrong reasons? This wasn't the casual place to meet folks, find what you were missing, no here was the place do serious weird shit. Nah, not in me. I was weird enough on my own.

Exiting the evening i returned home early. I pondered earning my anal badge with Ally only to have her blow me away with the sawed off shotgun she got from her father under the bed. I see the cops arrive, Ally in tears yet some how vindicated. She explains to the cops what happened, one finishes a jelly donut and raises an eyebrow, the other nods completely in full agreement, that blowing me away was the right thing to do. Neighbors gather round, someone debates the need for two cars, surely she'll sell the mini or maybe the jag.

Still got my humor thats the only badge I'll ever need.