"I'm working on a crazy bad idea that likely will never scale, you mind checking it out and letting me know what you think?" the guy said standing in line to get some Nashville hot chicken.
Nashville was in- everyone was raving about hot chicken, like its about take over the planet. In reality he just asked me to check out his idea. I hear extra things. Jaded. This was what its like, working with ideas and the crazy people that invented them. My flock, my asylum, comforting and strangely obscure.
"I'll check it out.." I nod and place my order. Let's get the hottest chicken on the planet, fry my face off. I need this pain. This way I can make a cascade of awkward faces while nodding at the same time to an idea i'll likely never invest in or get.
So cynical I thought to myself, was this really the new me?
I had been asked to give a talk to a local accelerator on 10 key things people can learn from startup hustlers. Hustlers- I bit into the drum stick, holy crap this was hot. Ranch plz, stat!
Hustlers made me think strippers- i imagine a fantastic talk I would likely never give.
10 Things Entrepreneurs can Learn from Strippers
1. Cash is King
Its really true, both from a business perspective and for of course strippers- its about CASH, get it. Get paid.
2. CASH isn't about CASH its about taking it.
The value of the CASH matters yes, but less so than the act of taking it. Meaning the CASH is there from a stripper perspective, its taken already, you're just going to pick it up. There was a high in getting cash from a stripper perspective (at least I think there is). That act of getting CASH, getting PAID, collecting what is YOURS in a gaze, what you knew to be true. That has got to be a rush. For the entrepreneur its the same, you thrust yourself out there to get paid, to be seen (like a stripper), and you collect what's due. The rub here tho was that most entrepreneurs didn't value this enough at the start. They are consumed with being right vs being paid.
3. To Transact is to Invoice is to Showing Up
They say 90% of life is just showing up. Same goes for strippers, you don't get the cash unless you show up. For an entrepreneur, you need to make money, simple as that. You need to transact, or invoice. In my case, I needed to invoice, more, all the time. Keep the cash in a trajectory thats if favorable to your stance. I was a regular now, Vera would be on me soon to collect her cash, her payment, it was only matter of time. But she can't invoice me (not yet heh). A good startup hustler weaves a web that gets them paid regardless if they show up, the create that transacting engine.
4. Make your Clients feel Awesome
Not saying the customer is always right, I'm saying make the customer feel special. Strippers were excellent at this, every man unique, every man special, every client in the veil of a delusion yet complementing its validity- hence my own predicament. I know that feeling Vera gives me, I feel special- in that glow of the gypsy queen everything gets easier. I'm open to suggestion, I'm nodding, I'm passive, yet confident, the allure of control- can I retain it? We'll see. Get your clients to a willing state and miracles can happen- they can endure a terrible user experience, a bad product, even lose money and still enjoy it. Deliver the value, but own your customers happiness.
5. Emotion + Rapport + Package = success
Startups are ruled by the package, they obsess over the product. But a product with no rapport dies fast. Use emotion to get to rapport, to back up the value of the package. A girl is the product, she is the platform, she is the app, she is the experience. Sure yes this seems like #4, but its important to realize that product doesn't mean shit without the communication of emotion, that building of rapport- hence the reason why the Chair of Misery will always be in business. A stripper out of favor with a customer, destined for the Chair of Misery, rapport in disconnect, emotion taking you out for the worse.
6. The Chair of Misery haunts us All
Entrepreneurs have the Chair of Misery burned into their chest as right of passage. To strippers the chair represents the same thing- fear. Fear can dominate a hustler, both as a drive to do better but worse as a constant reminder, you suck for the following reasons. Misery is comfortable, its the argument entrepreneurs use to explain why things aren't working yet, why the product is sucking, why conversion, the beloved transaction isn't happening. Much in the same light for strippers, sitting in the chair, total hate for all before you, its not you, its them. The chair is the deceiver.
7. Filter is for suckers but always be Listening
Entrepreneurs are taught from day one to always be listening- listen to your customer. Thats good for understanding the client, but they lack the audacity to be bold in front of clients, all too anxious to please everyone- customer, friend, family, vc. After awhile they are awash in a sea of bullshit. A stripper uses no filter, they express, sure they listen, and they bullshit well but they don't compromise on who they are. An entrepreneur will take a finger in his/her ass in a second if i meant a deal, a stripper only does what he/she wants to do. Integrity amongst the sex workers? You bet you ass there is. It takes a long time for entrepreneurs to build viable integrity for themselves, all too fragile for what "they" or anyone will say.
8. Its ON and then its OFF
Strippers work hard as such they are in two states- ON, working, OFF, not. You're average entrepreneur is working themselves to death 24/7. I can relate to that.
9. Give and TAKE
For as much as a stripper is there to TAKE the cash they are due, they are masters of negotiation. A skill most entrepreneurs won't learn or flat out resist for years as they attempt to prove themselves. A stripper notes the CASH due, but knows that art of happiness, that act of negotiation that likely occurs more often than we think.
10. Confident in your own skin
To me entrepreneurship has always been a confidence game. I got over my fear of public speaking and general in person can i successfully talk my way outa this or into this game by embracing my self. I feel strippers get the accelerator on doing this from day one- naked on a stage with strangers, hell every startup hustler needs to experience that pronto.
It'd be a great talk.. some day.
YOU ARE READING
Casually Compromised - Book 1
Non-FictionThe first book in the Casually Compromised series. A story of tech founders in strip clubs. A tale of analysis on stress of being. A man who does get compromised in a way and analyzes this alongside the weird world of technology and startups. We fa...
