Casually Compromised - Book 1

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"Wait a sec, nursing school?" I asked 7 AM.

Another night, what was the occasion tonight other than, another time out- oh yes, now I remember, we were entertaining a guest. A man from a distant land who wanted to experience it all, in this simple sleepy mid town america. Not a problem. I can help you friend- what would you like to do? Club? Ummm ok, so be it.

I was back at the club and 7 AM was standing over me smiling.

"Yep going to nursing school now...." she said smiling in her outfit.

It was nice kinda vintage, Great Gatsby ish. I'm a sucker for the vintage retro nearly everything. Seems like a sleepy distant ever so more interesting time than my own. A romantic for the lost wonderment- perhaps.

"I thought you we're gonna be hot dentist?" I said noting her long tall legs, she was pretty standing there but noted she did not take a seat. Did all the girls know better by now? Was it written in the invisible ink around my chair? A field of "nope" taken. Not sure.

Kahdah my indian guest sat next to me in bewilderment. He reeked of cologne and cigarette smoke. I hope had hoped I could expunge from my car later. I really didn't like smoke, at least cigarettes. Now gimme a good forest fire, or burning logs, cedar perhaps and I was there, I would roll myself around in a good wood burning fire if I could. Kahdah stared intensely at 7 AM, kinda in a scary way, and then he quickly broke the stare and focused on the ringside in front of us. He insisted we sit ringside, a place I rarely wanted to be as you're really on the line for every girl that comes thru the stage area. To him I supposed it felt more natural, expected.

"I hate these shoes... i'm shorter!" she said pouting lifting her heels exposing her shoes, toes, ankles.. I could go on.

"Why's that?" I said making small talk.

"Ummm cause I'm shorter!!" she said reaching across me to hug one of the girls on the stage. Kahdah's eyes widened with joy.

"Bah, you're tall enough..." I replied.

"Nope, not for you Parker, not for you..." she smiled and spun around walking the other way.

I nodded as she walked away looking back at the ringside action. Dollar after dollar paid in tribute. The math and the rules started to blend and bend into alternate realities for me. I was losing my sense of how, and more so why.

"Parker, how is it that you can talk to them, so easily?" Kahdah asked me, clearly confused.

I was kinda taken back for a second. I hadn't noticed anything different in my approach or conversation, it was just me, being me. Having to explain that seemed odd to me. I feel genuine and unique for a second- perhaps I had figured something out?

"Find the common ground Kahdah. You're just talking, they're just as nervous and curious as you are. Find the common ground and talk, conversation follows." I replied thinking about what I was saying, dang that was good advice really. We don't realize what we know naturally I guess. Which makes every thing we do, kinda magical to others perhaps. Magic in everything, I liked that.

"I have nothing in common." Kahdah expressed. I could see he was confused thinking about how to initiate conversations, intimidated by these foreign girls, away from the comfort of his known world.

"Think about it as comedy.." I said.

"Humor makes conversation happen." another pearl of wisdom coming out of me as if I'm an instructor in understanding people or women for that matter? Why is it I never learned these skills or found my confidence when I seemed to need it the most- high school. I was a tall nerd, introverted odd, and well just lost, like so many. I didn't know who I was back then, not like I know today. Now i'm a carnivore for conversation, assuming the right "scent" is expressed in the air from the people I engage. There are still some folks I can't easily reach I thought to myself.

My words weren't helping him. He seemed more distant and confused as ever while a girl danced before him, him hesitant with a dollar poised for placement.

"You need to practice Kahdah. Comedy and selling doesn't come in an instant, you have to be willing to suck a few times to get it right."

This is probably one of the better places to learn to talk to women, though it is engineered to help you win and lose at the same time.

"You'll pay for the experience." I said leaning back and taking a swing from my beer.

Yes, it was a good place to learn how to speak I guess- but you paid for it. Then the bigger question was, whatever you said did it matter? Could your conversations actually extend out of this place? Or was that the danger? Did you actually learn anything here? Or was the learning within.

When did the club no longer be the perfect conversation incubator? When did it fall apart and its really all on you?

A second passed and I felt the guilt of my moments. Was I extending the game, the chase beyond the restless boredom excuse and into the beyond taking a part of whatever I had with Ally from her? Or was just being human. Was I allowed? Relationships are complex.

For you Parker, where does the conversation start, and where does it end?

The 2 for 1 came on and Kahdah looked at me excited a bit, yes, this was your time to get a deal and feel perhaps.

"Now count the songs Kahdah, two songs and get outa there.." I said sternly like as if to lecture a child.

The last time we brought him into the club he got lost into about 8 songs dropping more cash than expected.

I had to get the manager to get him out. Kinda funny and embarrassing at the same time. Kahdah was a bit timid though an exceptional programmer and systems architect. He was brilliant in many ways across numerous projects. Such goes the curse of brilliance I figured- great at one thing, not so great at another.

Watching him disappear into the back I realized my own fate. I'm a regular now, something I feared being.

"You're allowed to have friends..." Susan, my once old work wife told me awhile back.

I've always been spotty on friends really. I have few that I can truly count. I know a ton of people but few are close, and even fewer really know me. Knowing someone really really really well- is thrilling and emptying at the same time. That heightened sense of vulnerability is scary. At any time the power we have over others perceived or not, can be crushing. Living in fear sucks though.

And did you want friends- here?

Kahdah was gone. Consumed by the dances. I was counting the songs. Hmmm... number 3, ok so lets do the math. I was adding up the bill wondering if he'd show. I had hoped not to call upon the manager again.

The club was pretty dead, dark, and few suitors around. I could tell the girls were undecided on who to engage. Most them I recognize. I would see multiple girls standing around or in the Chair of Misery but few seemed to be engaging anyone. I wondered why- thinking, what's the deal? Like let's go through the list here.

Black Tie Crutches man on the far corner near the backside of the stage. Was he being ignored because he couldn't move easily? Takes a bit for a man to come in here on crutches I figure. Surely Netflix and bottle of wine would of worked but this guy mustered up the energy to drag himself to a club. He was ignored as far as I could tell. But he was ringside, sometimes I would think ringside to taint you a bit. Too eager and not eager enough for the real game? Was he being penalized do to his un-ease of dance-ability factor?

Was I being ignored because of my Vera aura of entanglement? Probably. But lately the rest of the girls had started to flirt with me more. I started to get know a lot of them. My friends.

Veer started to blow up my phone. Messages were pouring in- what was the status of Kahdah, were we having a good time, what about that one deal, and on and on. Work was manifesting in my mind, clearing the agenda in my head.

Kahdah emerged, only 6 songs, he was getting better.

"I like this place..." he said sitting down as I typed messages back to Veer.

"It's an illusion." I said watching Vera emerge from the second stage area. Her eyes locked on me as she approached.

"A delightful illusion..."