Don't touch me // Minsung

13. 𝘛𝘦𝘢𝘳-𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘴

When Jisung woke up the next morning, he was a mess. First of all, he was still exhausted. The never stopping pounding in his head tired him as soon as he left his bed, alongside a strong and hunger-induced stomachache. His last meal was the one he had on the beach with Minho, and now he absolutely needed to eat something – anything.

He dragged himself to the bathroom and stared at his reflection in the mirror. His face was puffy, his eyes especially, red from crying all night. He drank two glasses of water almost immediately to soothe his dry throat, dehydrated since yesterday. He could even see the paths his tears took last night. Once again, he looked like such a mess.

"Fuck I can't go out like this", he thought as he tried applying cold water on his eyes, hoping for some miracle that, in the end, would never happen.

Apart from waking him up, it did not do much. His eyes did not depuff and were still red, adding on to his despair. He brushed his hair quickly with his hand, trying to see if anything was possible in his state. But once again, he failed.

He stared at his reflection, wondering what he was going to do with himself in this state, when he realized he did not even change clothes yesterday and was still wearing Minho's hoodie. He took everything off to take a shower, but looked back at the hoodie and smelled it, checking if he needed to wash it or not. But it did not smell bad, it just smelled like Minho and it soothed him in a way he never expected. It reminded him of Minho's room, of being taken care of, sleeping on his thigh, calling him hyung after knowing him for so long...

He put it back down and showered quickly, deciding to keep the original smell of his friend. He did not want to wash away the comfort it brought him. And if it relaxed him now, maybe it could help him later on as well...

After his shower, he applied the cold lotion on his bruise which was now changing color and hurting a bit less. But it still hurt him enough though. He wondered how Minho had applied it so delicately right after the attack, he really must have golden hands. He finished preparing himself and looked at his phone buzzing with a lot of messages from his friends. Too many.

"Are you ok since yesterday?"

"Are you coming today or not?"

"Do you want me to come by?"

All the same messages, sent by all his friends, all day and night long yesterday. Of course, they worried, he had disappeared without telling them anything. He sighed and left them on read, not having any strength to reply. He would talk to them at school.

He walked to the campus while music blasted through his headphones, trying hard to focus on the songs instead of anything outside. He knew it would stress him out, he just needed to forget the world around him, right?

But as he got closer, he passed by more and more students. He tried to fight it but his anxious self came back and he lowered his eyes, trying to be invisible while walking as fast as possible. He saw some students pointing at him in front, probably wondering about his deplorable state.

The gate was not far away and his friends would surely be waiting for him, but he had had enough already. He did not want to deal with everyone – he could not actually. He still had not processed his own emotions, how could he even talk to anyone? He just wanted to be alone. Completely and utterly alone.

Without any way to stop it, his anxiety increased even more, feeling like everybody only looked or talked about him. He turned around in an instant, almost running back home. This was too much for him now, but tomorrow he would do it. Or well, he tried to convince himself so.