MC Devil Dogs #3 Why Am I Not Loveable?

Seeing Mother Dearest Again

Cherise

     I wake up burning up, feeling a heavy weight on me. I turn to see Brick beside me. Slowly I start thinking back to last night. I remember my father was raping me and I was begging my mother to make it stop. She sat there telling me to stay quiet. I opened my eyes and they were standing over in my bed. No matter how many times I closes my eyes they were still there. Then I heard Brick talking to me. Brick knows my whole story he helped Prez save me that day.  When I first came here we spent a lot of time together. I opened up to him about everything. We slept together couple times but decided it felt too weird. I love him like a brother and vice versa.

     I get up then remember about Penny. I wake up Brick to ask about her. He tells me she is in his room. We both head to his room to find her. She is sitting on his bed looking so out of place. I introduced Brick to her. I explained he is one of the good guys. She gives him a small smile. Brick tells her if you ever need anything or Cherise has a bad night just find me sweetie. Penny nods and then follows me out. I turn around to go back to give Brick a hug. Brick, Tank, Blade and Prez are the closest thing to family I have ever had. Penny and I go back to my room where I loan her some clothes to wear. I need to talk to Prez about buying her some clothes and stuff. We head down stairs to eat something.

     I see Prez sitting at the end of the table. I make my over to ask him about going shopping. As I start talking I see Ruby his girlfriend come in. She walks over gives Prez a hug then looks at me. She ask "Did Spider tell you the good news?" I shake my head no. She then tells me "I am having his baby." I smile then congratulate them both. I see Ruby frown at me. I have to wonder did I say something wrong?  I look back to Prez and ask "Prez do you mind if we take Penny shopping today? She needs clothes and personal items." Prez calls over a prospect and tells him the girls will go shopping today so tell all the girls if they need something today is the day to go.

Razor

     I am tired today. I couldn't sleep well last night. Seeing Brick laying next to Cherise giving her comfort made me want to be the one. I was told by one of the other prospects that we are taking the girls shopping today. I wait for them to load up in the van. I watch Cherise come out in a sundress with flipflops. Penny was in the same. I watch as the other girls come out and let's just say they look like they are going to work the street corner. Jackie is in a red bra with cut off blue jeans shorts that leave nothing to the imagination. I can't help but see that Cherise looks as if she doesn't belong with the girls here.

     We finally get to the store and I am so fucking ready to be home already. Jackie is like a damn leech and so damn annoying. I keep a special eye on Cherise and can see she seems nervous. She keeps looking around as if she might see them. I can see how afraid she is of her parents. I have a knife in my boot and a gun in my waistband just in case of trouble. I am prepared though. I feel arms wrap around my waist. Damn this woman she is starting to really get on my nerves. I say through clench teeth "Jackie, stop go do your shopping now."  She walks off and I get back to keeping an eye on Cherise and Penny. Thirty minutes into the shopping trip I see Cherise go pale. I follow her line of sight. I see Jackie talking to Cherise's mother. I yell for all the girls to get to the van. I escort Cherise and Penny out. Hotshot stays behind to pay for all the stuff that the girl's left in the carts.

Cherise

     I am enjoying helping Penny find some stuff. I can not help to be on edge. I am scared of seeing my parents in town. Penny and I have checked out already but we were looking around waiting on the others. Penny was simple and bought the basics. We stop at the magazine rack and was looking through them. I look up to see Jackie talking to my mother. I start freaking out. I am going to be sick. I hear Razor yell for us all to get to the van. Razor comes over and grabs my hand and escorts us out to the van. I look back again as we exit the store but I no longer see my mother. I can hear Jackie complaining about having to leave so soon. She continues to bitch all the way to the van. Razor yells "Shut up Jackie!" He starts the van and takes off. He is driving really fast. We arrive back at the clubhouse and we all start to unload. Razor shouts "Cherise and Jackie you both need to head to Prez's office now."  As we are walking down the hallway Jackie says "Finally, he is going to get rid of your sorry ass for attacking me." I say nothing and continue to walk to the office.

     We all walk into office and Jackie sits down with a smug smile on her face. Jackie starts talking immediately "Prez I am so glad you finally..." Prez interrupts her "Be quiet until I ask you to speak Jackie, do I make myself clear?" I see Jackie nod her head. He then ask "Jackie the older woman in the store you were seen talking to what did she say to you?" Jackie looks confused and said "She ask me where to find something so I was trying to tell her but Razor yelled we all had to go." Prez looks at her and says "You better be telling the truth Jackie or else." Jackie looks at him innocently and says "I am why would I lie? Who is this old woman anyway?" Prez tells her she is free to go. Jackie leaves the office then Prez tells me to be extra careful for right now until we figure out what is going on. I nod my head and leave too. I step out and walk down the hallway only to see Jackie waiting for me. She smirks at me. I don't trust her at all. I don't think there is anyway possible though that she would know my mother. Razor walks over to me with the bags from the store. I had totally forgotten that I had sat them down. He offers to carry them all up stairs for Penny and me. I follow him to my room. He sits the bags down then said "I know you don't know me very well but if you ever need someone to talk to or any kind of help I am available." He then proceeds to give me his number and ask for mine. I agreed because I can use more friends. I get so very lonely sometimes.

Razor

     After taking the bags to her room I went back to the office. The Prez wanted to go over things with some of us about what to watch out for. He had sent a couple of the guys to go scope out the town to see if they could find out anything about her parents. I am still on guard duty for her and Penny. I don't mind though she is a very sweet girl. Penny is really nice too though. Both are so unlike Jackie it's a breath of fresh air. Jackie is just hateful and mean. She may have a nice body and give good blowjobs but other than that she is nasty. I head back to my room to rest because last night was a long night. As soon as I shower and lay down I think of Cherise. I wonder what my mother would think now if she found out I was starting to like a sweet butt. I can't help but laugh at the thought. She would go absobuletly crazy.

     The next day Cherise text me that Penny has to go back to the clinic. I talked to Prez and he wants me to also take Brick along with us since we have seen her mother twice. So we all get ready and head out. We arrived at the clinic before it got busy so hopefully it will be quick. Cherise goes in the back with Penny. I stayed in the lobby and Brick is outside watching. It took them quite a while this time. It was past lunch time before they came out so we all decided to go grab something for lunch before heading back. I can see whatever happened in the back has upset both girls.

Cherise

     I was sitting in the back with Penny listening to the doctor go over everything. I hold her hand as she cries with all the doctor is telling her. Penny found out that she is in the early stages of pregnancy but she also has Chlamydia. The doctor explained her concerns about it and the proper treatment. The doctor goes over her options about the pregnancy and the fact since it's so early in the pregnancy that if she wanted an abortion she could have one. Penny cried and said she needed more time to think about it because she has already been made to have two previous abortions by her brother. The doctor got up told us the nurse would be in soon with a new prescription to treat her STD and then walked out.

     "Cherise tell me what to do. I already had two abortions" Penny cried. I answered her honestly "Penny I can't tell you what to do baby, no one can. I can tell you I also have had to have an abortion before. However due to it being my father's child I desperately wanted to get rid of it." I sigh and say "I really can't tell you what I would do if I had to have more than one abortion to be honest but I will stick by you no matter what you decide."  We hugged and I dried her tears. The nurse comes back in with all the paperwork. We walked back out and I saw Razor looking at us with concern. I imagine we look a mess after having our cryfest. I just shook my head no toward him so he knew not to ask. We met Brick at the van and the boys said we were going to grab a bite to eat.

     We arrived at the diner and we all ordered the same burger, fries and a shake. The guys talked about anything and everything trying to fill the void. My heart felt so heavy for this girl. Penny busted out crying causing all of us to stop talking. She then stood up and ran out. I ran after her only to run into the man who had stolen my virginity. I froze and couldn't move or talk. I am face to face with my bastard of a father. I can't breathe. I am that six year old little girl trapped in that house all over again. God I hate this man. Seeing my father my mind completely forgot Penny.