MC Devil Dogs #3 Why Am I Not Loveable?

Wedding bells yes or no

Razor

     I made tonight as romantic as I could.  I was sure she wanted the same as me.  I am still on bended knee but she is not saying anything.  After a couple of minutes I get up.  I say "It's a big decision Cherise so I know you will need some time or maybe you are just not sure about me?"  She shouts "NO!"  My heart fell she doesn't want to marry me.  I thought we were on the same page about our relationship.  I look at her and say "It's your choice and I will accept it."  She has never had control about anything.  She grabs me and tells me "No that's not what I meant."  She takes me back to the blanket.  I had told the violinist to leave already.  Once we are alone again she starts explaining what she meant.  Cherise said "Look Jace, I love you.  I love you so much.  I would love to be your wife."  I am so confused.  I ask "Baby if that's the case what's wrong?" I mean she wants to marry but no she doesn't want to marry me.  Am I missing something?  Did I do something wrong?

Cherise

     I can not believe he ask me to marry him.  I can't answer him until he knows about my plans on surgery.  I need to explain things to him I can see I have confused him so much.  I go to explain "Jace I love you and I want to be your wife.  I have to let you know something first that may change your mind about me.  Please just listen to it all before you say anything.  You know I have fake boobs.  I know the guys talk about it all the time.  I wanted to be loved Jace and I never felt good enough.  I thought if I got them done then maybe the guys would like me more.  I knew with my history that finding a husband was most likely out of my reach.  So I thought by having bigger boobs and maybe being the boys favorite then I would feel wanted.  Anyway the thing is I hate them.  I hate what they represented in my life.  I don't want to be remembered as a sweet butt or the girl with big boobs.  I went to the doctor Jace and I have scheduled a surgery to have them removed.  The thing is I want to be normal.  I don't want people to see me and first thing they notice is my boobs.  I want to be known more for me than that.  So I go in two weeks to have them removed Jace.  I know I probably should have talked to you first but I just have to have this done."  I take in a couple of breaths to calm myself.  Let's see what he has to say because that's what matters right now.  

Razor

     I am sitting here listening to Cherise.  I am still confused though.  I mean okay she is removing her fake boobs so what.  I love her no matter what.  I look at Cherise and ask " Do you need me to drive you for the surgery?  Because I will baby."  She looks surprised and ask "You don't mind that I will not have big breasts?"  I can not help but laugh at this sweet girl.  I hug her to me and say "Cherise baby I love you and I want to marry you not your breasts."  I want to marry this woman because she is sweet,funny, loving and quirky.  I want to marry this woman because she makes my heart beat faster and she makes me whole.  Does she have a sexy as fuck body?  Hell yeah but I want her, all of her.  I take the ring out again and get back on my knee.  I ask her "Cherise baby will you make me a happy man and become my wife smaller boobs and all?"  She tackles me backwards screaming "Yes!"  The sad thing is she knocked the ring out of my hand and it took us fifteen minutes to find it.  I had bought a simple emerald stone ring to propose with but it spoke to me.  After finding the ring we went back over to the blanket as I slipped the ring on her finger.  Then I kissed my woman with all the passion a man can muster up.  My heart feels whole finally.

One year later

Cherise

     I have a special dinner planned tonight.  I have big news to tell Jace.  I am getting the roast out of the oven and placing all the trimmings on the table.  I have lit candles and soft music going.  Jace should be walking through the door any minute now.  I run to the bathroom to freshen up.  I hear the door shut.  I take off to see my husband, yes my husband.  We got married three months ago in Veronica's backyard.  We had a small ceremony with a few close friends.  I walk up to Jace and hug him tight.  He leans over and kisses me.  I will never tire of this man's kisses.  Jace ask "What's the occasion sweetheart?"  I smile up at him and say "Because I love you hubby!"  He kisses me again then goes into the bathroom to wash up.  He came back out we ate our dinner why we talked about our day.  Once we were through eating I told him hold on I forgot something.  I came back in and handed him a small gift bag.  He took it and smiled up at me saying "Baby I feel bad I didn't get you anything."  I laughed and told him "Honey, you have given me the best gift yet."  He pulls the bag open and then pulls out the paper wrapped gift.  He opens it all the way and I laugh at the total confusion on his face.  He holds it up and it takes him a minute to figure it out.  I see the moment it hit him.  His eyes are wide open now and steps toward me.  He grabs me up and spins me around but then stops and says "Oh shit the baby.  Do you think I hurt it?"  I laughed again shaking my head no.  Yes we are having a baby!

Jace

     I am sitting here eating this wonderful dinner with my beautiful wife.  As we finish up she told me she forgot something.  I sit and wait when she comes back in with a small gift bag.  Did I forget something?  I open the bag and when I unwrapped it I saw the cutest little onesie with the saying daddy's little biker.  I didn't think I could be any happier than the day I married Cherise but now this!  I pick up Cherise and spin her around.  Oh shit the baby!  I need to be more careful with all my precious gifts now.  I kiss my beautiful wife then helped her clean up the kitchen.  That night when we went to bed I made love to my wife being extra careful.  Cherise laughed at me and told me she is not breakable.  We discussed baby names for awhile before drifting off to sleep.

Seven months later

Cherise

     We are headed for my check up.  I am due any day now.  Jace and I are so excited to meet our little person.  We decided not to find out what we are having so we have both names just incase.  We make it into the triage room and the nurse mentions my blood pressure which has been running a little high lately.  They put us in a room and within a minute the doctor comes in.  She looks at me with concern and it's making me nervous.  She says "Cherise your blood pressure is extremely high today.  I am going to admit you to the hospital and see if we can't get this labor going.  It will be safer for you and the baby."  Jace asked her "Want the labor cause her blood pressure to be worse?"  She explains to us that they will give me medicine to help and be able to monitor me for any issues.  We left the clinic and head to the hospital.  I am scared now. I do not want anything to happen to our baby.  As soon as we get there I am put in a room on monitors.  Jace and I both are scared right now this was not the way it was suppose to go. 

Jace

     I am sitting her beside Cherise praying she and the baby will be okay.  I had called Veronica earlier to let her know what is going on.  I hear a knock on the door and have no doubt it is her.  I see Veronica, Blade, Prez and Ruby all walk in.  They ask some questions and try to reassure Cherise.  About five minutes later the nurses come running into the room followed by the doctor.  The doctor explains "Cherise your baby is in distress we need to do an emergency cesarean now.  Jace I am sorry but you will have to wait out here."  They then rushed out with Cherise while I ran beside her holding her hand and telling her how much I loved her.  Cherise was crying and I can see the fear in her eyes.  Please Lord save my wife and baby.  I go back to the surgery waiting area and wait with the others. 

Cherise

     Once they got me into the surgery room everything went fast.  I wanted Jace so much but there was no time.  They pulled my baby out pretty quick.  I could hear some crying but they rushed away with the baby.  The doctor said "Cherise your baby is struggling a little bit so they need to get that under control."  I am crying worrying about my baby.  I ask "Doctor was it a boy or a girl?"  She answers "A beautiful boy."  I have a son, we have a son.  Please Lord let my son be okay.  I lay there as they stitch me up.  The doctor told me I had to be moved to ICU for a while due to my blood pressure still not coming down.  All I care about is seeing my baby.  I ask "When can I see my husband? my baby?"  She tells me as soon as I am settled in room they will get Jace for me but she will get back to me about the baby.  Will my baby be okay?