MC Devil Dogs #3 Why Am I Not Loveable?

Is he dead?

Razor

     Prez and I saw Tank in the waiting room.  We told him what we found out.  Tank was told to stay with the girls while we go search for Brick.  Prez said he may know where he is at.  Apparently Blade use to live close by so we all head out.  We make our way to the dirt road where we think he maybe.  We all start checking the ditches on both sides of the road.  Once of the prospects yells and we go to where he is standing.  We see Brick's cut laying there with blood on it.  Prez yells "Spread out, he has to be around here somewhere!"  So we all went to walk out in the fields to see where he may have wondered too.  I say to myself please let us find him. 

     We had been searching for about half an hour.  We make our way to a creek area.  There he was half his body laying in the creek.  We run to him.  Prez starts yelling orders directing us all on what to do.  He gets a pressure dressing on his gun shot wound.  We all carry him back to the road where we had the van waiting.  We load him up with one of the guys continuing to put pressure on the wound.  We take off to the hospital.  Prez had one of the guys call ahead to let them know we were coming with a gun shot wound victim.  As we pull up I see the doctor and nurses waiting with a gurney.  They get Brick inside and began to work on him while making us all wait outside the room.  It's hours later when the doctor comes out.  He walks over to Prez and says "We got him stabilized and he will be in the ICU after he comes out of surgery.  The bullet is still lodged inside of him so we have got to go in to get it.  Our main concern right now is the amount of blood loss though.  He will be receiving several units of blood and I am hoping after we get the bullet out the bleeding slows down.  He will have a long road of recovery most likely but he should pull through."  I tell Prez that I am going to head over to tell Penny and Cherise.  I walk down to the elevator knowing that this should bring some relief for Cherise.  She is full of guilt about what her father has done. 

Cherise

     Tank has been entertaining us with stories from his childhood.  Tank can be a really funny guy.  I know what he is doing.  He is trying to get our minds off the horror of what happened.  He was telling us about how he lost his front tooth in a fight in six grade when the door opened.  I see Razor walk in with a small smile.  I jump up and run to him.  Does this mean they found him I wonder.  I ask "Razor did you find him?"  He smiles big and says "Yes! We found him.  He is in surgery right now to remove the bullet and will require some blood transfusions but they say he should make a full recovery in time."  I jump into Razor's arms before I knew what I was doing.  I was so overwhelmed with relief that Brick was alive.  I hugged him tight and he returned my hug.  I was enjoying the hug probably longer than I should.  I was brought back to my senses when Penny said "I will help Brick with his recovery.  I will do his laundry, cook and clean.  I will help him dress or whatever he may need."  I walk back to her and hug her.  I told her we both would take care of him.  She then looked up and said "Ask the nurse if I can eat something now please?"  All of sudden I was hungry too. 

     I asked Razor if he would walk with me to grab us some food once I got the nurse's approval.  As we walk down the hall to the elevator I slipped my hand into his.  He looked at me and smiled.  Once inside the elevator Razor asks "Cherise are you okay?"  Was I okay?  I don't think I would ever be okay.  I started crying saying "It's over, Brick is alive, Penny is alive and I am away from my father again."  I felt his arms go around me again.  I laid my head on his chest and prayed one day I could find a man who could love me.  I just wanted one man, with a home and hopefully kids one day.  I wanted to feel that I was loveable.  I wanted to feel special and wanted.  I just wanted to feel normal.

Razor

     I am standing in the elevator talking to Cherise and I seemed to have made her cry asking her if she was okay.  I was trying to reassure her but I am not good at this stuff.  I walk over to her and wrap my arms around this woman.  She felt good and I enjoyed the feeling of peace I felt with her in my arms.  Man I could get use to this.  We held hands all the way to the cafeteria.  We grabbed some sandwiches, chips, soda and apple pie.  I was starving it's been crazy last couple days.  We make our way back to the room to find Blade and Veronica in the room.  I walk over and give my sis a big hug.  I have missed her so much.  I am glad to see her so happy though.  They visit for a few minutes as they go to leave I tell the others that I am going to walk out with them.