MC Devil Dogs #3 Why Am I Not Loveable?

Watching Blade Get Married.

Cherise

     I wake up feeling really lost right now.  I can hear the activity below.   There is a wedding today at the clubhouse.  I really thought I finally found someone to love me.  However today Blade will marry another.  I will never find someone to love me.  Who will love a sweet butt like me?  I will never find someone to love me and that's all I have ever wanted.  I am just someone the guys can get their rocks off with.  After I found out about Blade marrying Veronica it broke my heart.  I knew he loved her when he brought her to the bbq that day.  I saw how he looked at her.  I want someone to look at me that way one day. 

     I hear a knock on my door.  One of the club girls yell for me to come help set up chairs.  I throw on some clothes and head down.  I see the Prez Spider.   I have been spending a lot of time with him lately but gossip says he is interested in the girl named Ruby from the bar.  I knew not to get my hopes up when he started spending time with me.  I will always be thankful to him though.  Few years back he saved me off the streets.  Living at the club has given me more security and safety than I have ever had before. 

     I get busy setting up the chairs.  I hear the girls talking about who they hope chooses them tonight for sex.  Sex is just that to me sex.  My history with it has never been a great experience.  The guys here do not hurt me.  Prez would never allow it.  The closest I have ever come to making love would be when I was with Blade.  He was always so caring with me.  The Prez wasn't bad but he always seemed to be fighting some demons with in himself.  I hear some of the guys come in as I look over I see there is a new prospect.  He is cute, looks kinda out of place here though.  I hear Jackie say "No use in eyeing the new guy Cherise .  He will not want you either."  She starts laughing.  She has never liked me and I do not understand why.  I try to get along with everyone. 

Jace aka Razor

     Today is my sister's wedding.  My sis Veronica has come such a long way since she was attacked.  I have always felt I needed to protect her.  Our mom was never nice to her.  Today she will marry Blade, one of my brothers here at the club.  I have watched how Blade was with my sister.  I also watched how all the brothers stuck together during hard times.  I wanted that too.  I finally got up the nerve to talk to Blade about joining the club.  He helped me become a prospect. 

     After nearly losing my sister last year and watching how my mother treated her, I realized I had to start living for me.  Our mother started telling us at birth what we were going to be, how we were to dress, who we were allowed to be around.  I was told I would be an accountant just like my father.  I was told who I could date and if they didn't come from the family my mother approved of I was not allowed to go out.  Now though I don't have to listen to her anymore.  She was constantly complaining about how Veronica looked and how much she weighed.  The day my sister cut them out of her life after the rape was the day I decided enough was enough.  I have no regrets.  I am happier than I have ever been.  I am finally doing something for me.  I can have sex with any woman and not stress about marriage with the high society bimbos my mother approved up.  I won't lie having the sweet butts available is something I like a lot.  The brothers have told me about the girls.  I have not had a chance to be around to many of them yet.  I hear the girl Jackie is wild as hell.  The boys say Cherise is a sweetheart.  I know Prez and Blade preferred Cherise.  I can not wait until I get a chance to be with the girls more often. 

     As we head inside to help out with setting up for the wedding.  I see some of the girls in there and man they were not lying some of them are fine as hell.  Hopefully tonight I can dance with some of them.  I know my sister she invited everyone from the club.  It won't make a difference to her if they are sweet butts or not.  Veronica has always had a big heart and never judges anyone.  I am hoping to find one of the girls to be with tonight.  Prez keeps me on the go with stuff so I haven't met all of them yet.  I can not wait to be done with being a prospect and become a full member.