penumbra

Chap. 25 - Back To The Barn

cw: dissociative episode and panic attack described in detail, mentions of suicide.

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He'd been like that for a while. Laying sideways on the bed, staring at Seonghwa's sleeping face, grinning like a fool. How long exactly had he been watching that sweet, peaceful expression? Probably a few hours. The only thing he remembered was that it was still dark outside when he'd started, and the light pouring from underneath the curtains denounced that it wasn't the case anymore.

His little undead heart just felt so ironically warm. He felt like asking someone to pinch him so he could check if he'd been dreaming all along. Had he actually never left Yeosang's house? Never gotten together with Seonghwa? It was so hard to accept that the previous day had actually happened, that it was all real. The kiss they shared before getting in the car, the whispers and teasing all throughout the ride to the apartment, pining Seonghwa to the wall, then...

Seonghwa was... his now. And he was Seonghwa's.

Hongjoong wanted to be able to say that he'd forgotten about the dead serious talk he needed to have with him, but that would be a complete lie. He had already gone as far as having sex with Seonghwa while he was fully unaware of the younger's true nature. It was still a secret. A painful secret to keep. But at the same time... It simply just wouldn't come out. Things just seemed so... perfect like this. Hongjoong hadn't felt such overwhelming happiness in years, he didn't want to lose it. Of course, by what San had told him, there was a decent chance that Seonghwa wouldn't completely reject him after knowing the truth about what he was now. Still... Some lump in his throat just seduced him to postpone it all. Just for a little longer. It wouldn't hurt, right? He just wanted to be able to enjoy every second glued to Seonghwa, basking in their new extent of intimacy, they now explicitly shared feelings...

He wanted to forget that he wasn't really alive for a moment.

Hongjoong then scooted over closer when he saw a timid twitch on the other's features and felt his heart rate get a tad faster, settling comfortably on his chest, but carefully enough so he wouldn't have his last moments of sleep disturbed. The younger held back a coo when the blonde's eyelids fluttered and sluggishly began parting accompanied by a lovely scrunching up of his nose.

"Mornin', Hwa" he chimed, grin widening as he watched the other blink a few times to wake himself a little bit more.

Seonghwa groaned and rubbed his eyes, yawning and briefly stretching. "Ngh... Mornin'..."

There were already lips on his cheeks even before he opened his eyes again, fleetingly kissing him over and over and making him feel ticklish. He giggled and hugged the one lovingly attacking him, happily accepting being smothered in affection right after waking up.

"Joongie..." he whined when the shorter got on top of him and began aiming for his mouth. "I haven't even brushed my teeth yet...!"

"Don't care" was the nonchalant answer as he took the other's lips impatiently.

The kiss was lazy but very needy, like Hongjoong had actually spent months without access to those plush lips instead of mere hours. Soon, he was pulling the other to sit on the bed so he could straddle his lap. Tongues met and stroked each other as pleased sighs became a part of the intimate touch, and Hongjoong was non-stop teasing the platinum blonde hairs on the Seonghwa's nape whilst he moved clumsily but eventually managed to settle his hands on the shorter's waist as he let him do as he pleased.

He jumped and gasped when he felt a small hand firmly groping the tightness in his pajama pants.

"H-Hey" he pulled away and cleared his throat to steady his still sleepy tone. "Has it already been twenty four hours since we had sex?"