𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰𝐬 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 { Closed }

𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰: 𝐀 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐏𝐀'𝐒 𝐎𝐃𝐘𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐘

Plot ~ It's a very short and cute plot. It was quite fast paced, but understandable. Quite unique, and I genuinely enjoyed reading it. The dialogue could be worked on a bit better. While It's not a huge deal with writing out a character's dialogue as "Grandpa:" It's better to type out what the person is saying first, and then mention the person speaking.

For example, you can say, "I love you so much," grandpa said.

You don't make that mistake too much, but it's just something I've noticed.

Grammar ~ There's not many spelling errors, but I definitely think you should space out your paragraphs. Make it easier to read. Work on your capitalization too. I've seen some 'i" when it should be "I." You're missing a lot of punctuation marks.

For the sentences that have punctuation marks, you want to make sure you have a space between the word and punctuation.

For example, you wrote. " At that moment,a teacher passing by asked her to follow him,before i could ask if she needed help."

As you can see, it makes sense, but we can fix it up a little. It should look like this – "Before I could ask her if she needed any help, a teacher passed by, asking her to follow him.

Also, you wrote, "Why the hell are you sitting here with bird poop in your head?"

It's on your head.

I think you need to rewrite the book and work on those errors mentioned.

Hook ~ Since there's only two chapters, I'll just speak about them both. I do like how you go straight into the story within the first chapter. Again, just work on spacing the paragraphs. In the second chapter, I do like how we start to see how the two main characters start to connect to one another

Descriptive ~ The story isn't super descriptive. Maybe you could dig deeper into what the main characters are thinking? Maybe talk more about the setting and emotions taking place? Since it's a short story, it doesn't need to be super detailed, but enough for the reader to get feel for what's going on.