Description Of The Story ~ Your description was short, but sweet. Not much detail was given away, but just enough for the reader to get an idea of what the book will be about.
Plot ~ I like the plot a lot! Your writing style is really good, and the dialogue is quite smooth. Whenever you write dialogue make sure to put a comma at the end if it's not a question or showing excitement.
For example, you wrote ~ "You need some time for yourself, or you'll get sick."
After "sick" there's supposed to be a comma.
Grammar~ From everything I read, you don't have many spelling and grammar errors. Maybe work on your spacing for some paragraphs.
For example, in chapter three you wrote ~ "You're making my hair messy! I complained and he just nodded teasingly. "You're quite an extrovert, aren't you?" I asked and smiled.
It's not a big thing since it's the same character talking, but it might look better spaced out since you wrote more to it after. So just start another paragraph after the first dialogue.
Hook ~ I used your first chapter, "The Investigation" as the hook. I genuinely did like your first chapter. The writing wasn't bad, and it was quite intriguing to start off with a murder case. The minor details within the chapter were just enough for it to make sense and give a good description of what was going on.
YOU ARE READING
𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰𝐬 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 { Closed }
Short Story{ CLOSED! } This book was written to help undiscovered writers get discovered. It's a safe place to get your book reviewed and, hopefully, get help with whatever problems you're having. I am not the most experienced writer out there, but I don't min...
