Ascension│Bluelock x male reader

3.33. Unrestrained Freedom (Part 2)

"Your ego."

Y/N sat in a chair on one end of the table. Ego sat on the other.

"Or rather, your egos, plural." Ego stared Y/N down with serious eyes.

"Plural." Y/N dumbfoundedly said. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Ego pulled a remote from his pocket, and angled it at a screen sitting against the wall. He pressed the on button, and on the screen, Y/N saw... himself. Playing against Bluelock, alongside the U-20 team. He was breathing heavily, sweat beading on his forehead, playing good enough to score four goals himself.

Y/N flinched. "Oh."

"This is you before overcoming Kuroi." Ego quietly said. The screen flicked to more games. Y/N against the World Five, Y/N in the second selection. And before that, Y/N against Team V. And more recently, him playing for Barcha against PXG, and for Ubers against Manshine.

In all the pictures, Y/N had similar looks in his eyes. In some, he looked scared. In others, he looked worried, on edge. In a few, he looked like a cornered animal. But in all the photos that Ego showed him, he never looked happy. There was always something wrong, something off with him.

"I know you returned to Ascension." Ego quietly said. Y/N's blood ran cold. He tensed, wide eyes looking across at the man. "But I'm not here to talk about that, not really. I'm here to give you advice."

Y/N gulped. "Is..." He cleared his throat. "Am I doing something wrong?"

"No, Y/N. Just listen." Ego flicked onto a new set of images. "These are photos from the U-20 game, directly after you made the decision to shoot at Kuroi."

More photos. Y/N looked much happier in each of them. It might not have been obvious, but he was. There was a shine in his eyes, a brightness in his smile and confidence in his posture. It was a complete flip compared to the previous group of images.

"I raised a theory with Anri, about an 'artificial' ego." The man muttered. Y/N had to strain to hear him. "The general concept of it is as follows: while here at Bluelock we aim to grow and release someone's dormant ego, in Ascension, Kuroi aimed to forcibly create an ego."

Y/N listened. Ego spoke.

"The ego Kuroi manifests inside a person takes form in a simple way. Mutual suffering. What does that mean? Take Barou, whose ego revolves around kingship and rules. Take Rin, whose ego consists of destruction, or Bachira, whose ego is focused on creativity. And then yours. Suffering."

More pictures came onto the board. Isagi, surrounded by puzzle pieces. Kaiser's thorns. Barou's lion. Bachira's monster, Charles' demon, Chigiri's panthers, Sae's binary, Lorenzo's mouths... and then Y/N himself. Shrouded in a red cloud, blood dripping from his mouth, eyes, ears, nose...

"These pictures were drawn by a sort of... spiritualist. Someone who tries to understand the spirit of a person, and represent it in real life." Ego explained. "And while yours is peculiar, it serves to help me with my theory. Kuroi's ego is suffering. By forcing everyone to fear the pain that comes with losing, he unlocks their abilities through that fear. And so, Y/N, the ego you often show is one of sadism."

Y/N gulped. The words Ego was saying were unnerving enough. But paired with the drawing of him, leaking crimson from every orifice, it made him want to be sick.

"You play well using this ego, extraordinarily well. But it doesn't give you satisfaction. It doesn't give you happiness, and takes a huge toll on your mental wellbeing." Ego leant forwards.

"To put it simply. Kuroi's ego makes you so scared of losing, the only option is to win."

The pictures returned to the second set - those of Y/N looking happier. "But that isn't your actual ego. Kuroi never bothered to unlock your innate potential, he simply forced his own ideals upon you. These photos show you, bringing out your own ego."