our desire

∘⁠˚⁠˳⁠°vidaai∘⁠˚⁠˳⁠°

Shishtha

Sitting with anticipation in my heart that what will be the next step of him , my brain was asking me thousands of questions,  will he force me ? To consumnate this marriage, no I don't think so he is an educated men , my concious mind thought , but at the side my sub

but that doesn't mean that he will not , in royals it is but obvious that consumating a marriage and providing a heir that,s only what is women for , i have seen my mother going through this , my dad did a second marriage because my maa was not able to provide a son to him , our family tree is complicated kridha had always been a bold one , i remember how she fought with dad when he did second marriage .

while I was quite, my mother was numb at that time she was not able to process this and tried multiple attempts of suicide until one day she jumped from the topmost building and died , after mummy,s death me and kridha were shaken to our core , with our father we never shared that bond  because he was too engaged in running business which was also the most necessary things  , as

for choti maa who is my step  mom we can say she is wicked just like other step moms   , she used to and still  consider herself superior to my mom and use to run commands on her and that too  just because she gave  sons to our father  . I remember kridha used to take all things on her whenever my step mom tried to do something to me  , for me kridha was my biggest supporter, when dad refused to me to pursue my career in journalism kridha was the one who supported me and didn't let him stop my education. my daadu has always been nice to me but still he also has this patriarchal thinking inside him .

Throughout my life I was a quiet one who dont like to express themselves or i can say who can't express themselves, i never fought for myself , when I was 15 years old one of my cousin brother tried to touch me in appropriate remained quiet but he did,nt stop he keep repeating it until one day my daadi saw it i thought that was the end of my misery but that was only the start ,  daadi instead of saving me blamed me that i tried to seduce his brother,s son , she called me with names and they beast was standing their with the visible victory in his eyes , that incident still sends shivers through my spine and I still go through that trauma , he comes to every function and there is a wicked smile he have whenever he sees me .

I was in my thoughts ,  when I heard the twisting of the door knob and atharv coming in .

He came near me which made me fold my legs close to my hands  more.

"I want some time to consumnate this marriage " i said In a low voice .

"I am not consumating anything with you mrs rana , I am not touching you without your concern , i am a man , I would prefer to die rather than touching a women without her permission so make yourself comfortable here ." He said while picking his pillow from the bed .

C...an y...ou p.....le..a...se sl.e.e..p  i.n t.....his r...o...om ! I said fumbling upon my words .

"And why would I do that ? " He asked stopping.

"I don't want people to know what's happening inside our room and give them a topic to gossip , our families are already suffering."

"People always have topic to gossip about , you just need to not make yourself bothered about their gossips , otherwise it will be difficult for you to live in this world , and about family suffering that will be over but the one who are suffering the most are you and me because it's new for you and me both ,but it's fine if you say so i will remain in this room,  he said settling himself on couch ."

"Thankyou" i said .

"It's fine , nothing to be thanked"

"Hmm..." He responded