Yellow Hearts

Bonnie Can't Cook

Ashlyn: In your opinion what's the height of stupidity?

Tyler: Hey Aiden! How tall are you?!
__

Bonita: So I can either bake these at 400 degrees for ten minutes or 4,000 degrees for one minute?

Ashlyn: Bonnie, no that's not how you make cookies

Bonita: Floor it?

Aiden: Princess no

Bonita: How about 4,000,000 degrees for one second?

Aiden: Bonnie you are going set your house on fire!!!

Bonita: I'M GOING TO HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!

Ashlyn & Aiden: BONNIE!!
__

Mike: you know it's said that the gods give their hardest battles to their strongest soldiers

Logan: WHEN DID I SIGN UP FOR THE WAR

Taylor: Logan—

Logan: WHEN DID I ENLIST
__

Logan: Woah how are you such a good driver?

Bonita: because I don't have a license yet and there's illegal shit in here

Logan: ...what?

Bonita: because if I don't use my turn signal then we're both gonna do 15. Because I am going to lie and say that it's yours

Logan: I am about to jump out of this car

Bonita: no you're not. Put your seatbelt on sweetheart you are not safe 😁
__

Tyler: I'm here open up

Bonita: ...when I was a little kid I was forced to eat dog food for dinner—

Tyler: OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR
__

(They're on a discord call ok? Ok.)

Tyler: This is what fucking happened- I go into Disney's fucking basement- I went to go look for my aunt and you know what I found? Goofy's bones! Do you know how fucked up it is to find your favorite mascot's bones in the basement?!

Bonita, quietly: goofy doesn't have bones

Tyler: Shut the fuck up you don't know tha- wait rewind. Who the fuck said that shit?! No one say a fucking word!

Aiden: Hey Logan Logan quick question—

Tyler: no! We're not doing this again!

Aiden: Hey Logan! Quick question!

Taylor: Logan does Goofy have bones?

Logan: Goofy?

Taylor & Aiden: Yes

Aiden: does he have bones

Logan: ...I mean- he's a cartoon I think we have to acknowledge the rubbery structure that all cartoon characters—

Tyler: Logan. Logan. I went into Disney's basement and saw Goofy's bones

Ashlyn: Um no. The faceless man in my basement is staring at me and shaking his head I don't think there are any Goofy bones—

Tyler: D-do you live in Disney's basement?!!

Bonita: Goofy only has skin

Taylor: Bonnie?

Tyler: Bonnie I'm gonna need you to—

Bonita: the best thing is I'm not lying

Taylor: Bonnie? Bonnie

Aiden: this turned from a jokey improvised Goofy story time- I didn't mean to say Goofy- to actual horror stories. Bonnie what do you mean that Goofy only has skin??

Bonita: I've only ever put away Goofy's skin and his head I've never put away any bones—

WHAT THE- BONNIE WHAT THE FUCK
__

Tyler: alright welcome to McDonalds. what can I get for you?

Aiden: yurrr

Tyler, sighs: oh my gosh. $12.78

Aiden: wait what happened??

Tyler: 12.78

Aiden: I ain't even order yet big bro

Tyler: TWELVE. SEVENTY. EIGHT.  PULL TO THE WINDOW.

Aiden: well uh lemme- let me get a double western—

Tyler: YES YES YES!! A DOUBLE WESTERN BACON CHEESEBURGER AND EXTRA BARBEQUE SAUCE WITH 3 TENDERS 2 RANCH AND 2 BARBEQUE SAUCES! WHY ARE YOU PLAYING WITH ME AIDEN CLARK!?!?!

Aiden: well damn baby. how'd you know it was me?

Tyler: YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE COMIN' IN MY DRIVE-THRU SAYING "yurrr" AT 2:55 PM. AND I CAN SMELL THAT CHEAP ASS ROSS COLOGNE

Aiden: ay ay you good bro you need a raise

Bonita: yeah uh- let me get that and uh... a chocolate shake. yeah let me get a chocolate shake. you know I want a chocolate shake since you know everything??

Tyler: IF YOU TWO DON'T PULL TO THE WINDOW AND STOP PLAYING WITH ME! I JUST CLOCKED IN. AND YOU LACTOSE INTOLERANT BONITA! YOU DON'T DRINK NO MILK
__

Bonita: uhh hey Ashlyn... I burned the water

Ashlyn: Bonnie how the fuck did you burn the water??

Bonita: I don't know it just caught on fire

Ashlyn: oh my god Bonnie the kitchen is on fire!
__

random girl: look at what he's wearing. its giving the GAP

Tyler: you mean the gap between your teeth?

random girl: wha-

Tyler: how bout you worry about getting braces instead of worrying about what he's wearing

random girl: OH MY GOD--
__

Bonita: what's my favorite drink?

Aiden: Coke

Bonita: what's my favorite food?

Aiden: arepas con queso

Bonita: who's my favorite person?

Aiden: tie between your mom and dad

Bonita: favorite thing to do?

Aiden: ...me

Bonita: y-you're not funny—
__

Aiden: satisfied?

Ashlyn: not at all

Bonita: well that's a shame

Ashlyn: why

Aiden: because we told the police you were our RIDE OR DIE, PARTNER IN CRIME
__

Aiden: personality test! when you guys go "nya" and I know that you do

Ben: O_O

Tyler: oh shit

Aiden: do you- do you do paws like "nya" or do you do claws like "nyah"?

Ben: paws

Tyler: claws
__

I don't ship them I just think I'm funny
__

Aiden and Bonnie's arguments be like:

Bonita: huh. you wanna play dirty? alright. you're. not. masculine.

Aiden: UGH

Bonita: YOU OVERRATED LITTLE TWINK

Aiden: HEY I AM A TWUNK OKAY? THATS COMBINATION OF TWINK AND HUNK
______

Did I leave on a cliffhanger and then post this? Yes

Also my other book is flopping so if you like the three crack chapters I did on here you'll probably like it go check it out 👍🏾

Okay bye!!