Unwanted Addiction

Chapter 10

Natasha

The way he was looking at me had my heart doing summersaults for me. Intensity rolled off in waves through his gaze. He was holding me tightly in his grip. A strange displeasure swirled in his eyes as if he was upset about something but it was hard to decipher what it was.

Sometimes he is a mystery I can't figure out, an annoying chest of secrets which doesn't open up no matter what you do and doesn't get cut down even with a chainsaw. I get lured to him like one gets to a siren's song, wanting to know more about it and pull open all his secrets but he doesn't let me close.

Always shuts himself up, when I am about to reach it. I don't like that about him, no, I hate him for that and what cuts me deeper is when I ask the question to myself, Does he even care?

I feel myself falling and rising to the top of a deep ocean I am struggling in. My feelings and my stubborn love for him pull me up like a cork shooting off a bottle, his quirky and dry advances, those little teasings, everything fills me with a force to swim up and embrace him firmly but then his unwillingness and cold denial to my feelings push me deeper in the ocean and it becomes unbearable.

"Oh, I didn't know you would care about my friends this much. I didn't sign up for a controlling freak when I asked you to be my friend." I answered turning my gaze away as I tried to get out of his hold but he didn't let go and instead tightened his hold.

"Believe me, Natasha, if you would have known me, you wouldn't have signed up for this marriage."

"How long will it take you to accept the fact that we are married, Dhruv? What's done is done, instead of mulling over it or regretting it, don't you think we should try to accept it and make it work?" I was at a loss when I heard him talking about our marriage as if it was the worst thing he had ever been up to.

It hurts. It hurts when the thing which matters the most to you is nothing to the other person and it keeps aching when that matter is related to that other person who is the reason why it became important to you in the first place.

"Oh darling, for you it's done but for me, it's only a temporary agreement I have signed and I can call off it anytime." Every word rolled off the tip of the tongue slowly, his tone low and deep and unlike his voice which felt like a spiteful sensual whisper, his eyes were as sharp as a blade.

"That means, I am the other party who has to impress you enough so that my company doesn't suffer any losses?" I saw something like an indecipherable emotion flicker across his eyes when I sarcastically retorted in his manner of speech.

I didn't want to say anything else and keep arguing with him. I was already feeling a little down from before and didn't want to ruin the rest of the day as well because I have resolved to myself, that I am going to try my best in making this marriage.