Cw: swear words, cursing, blood, gore, knife, eating problems, stalking, suicide, murder,
Today was Friday and you missed your classes again but that wasn't too important because it was Friday, and finals were still over a month away.
The next day you spend inside trying to snap out of it and distract yourself with studying. The next day looked the same. It was literally a "eat an apple. Drink tea. Study till you fall asleep. Wake up. Repeat." Cycle.
Maybe you would go to jail before writing your finals but oh well. You liked studying and it made you forget about what happened for a while. A few times you got distracted by your thoughts and had to cry, which made you incredibly angry but you made it through the days nonetheless. There was still no police knocking at your door, it felt like hell. Every time you heard someone opening the door downstairs and walking up the stairs you tensed up and anticipated a knock.
Monday morning came and you decided to go to your classes because what else was there to do. On the way you were paranoid as fuck and it felt like everyone was looking at you. It felt like everyone knew what you did. They didn't know but it sure felt like it. The anxiety didn't help, what would they think of you if you would get arrested on the street in front of a whole crowd?
Smoking before lectures calmed your nerves, you were able to take notes and concentrate whenever you didn't feel watched and judged. In the breaks you even talked with your friends about music and finals but kept it rather short. You had your reasons. It seemed like everyone around you was suffering and dying, one after another and you surely didn't want anyone else to have the same faith as nolan, officer Clemens, the nurse and Charley.
The rest of the day you studied in the library trying to get your mind away from certain thoughts. In the evening you left your phone lying in the library, went to the car and bought some groceries on the way home. You weren't eating much and buying food just to let it go mouldy in the fridge wasn't the best financial decision but oh well. You just wanted to feel normal and maybe hopefully you would eat it after all.
You were just waiting for the day where you would get arrested. What would your friends, classmates, parents, neighbours and professors think? Word would go around fast, that's what always happened when someone committed a crime or something less stupid like getting drunk and vomiting all over your friends essay. There would be nasty untrue rumours too, that's what always happened.
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Journal of Decay (Creepypasta x reader)
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