Everlark- Family, Love and Happy Ever After

Just Too Hard

We'd been back in District Twelve for two days now. They were meant to be two days of rest and 'relaxation', yet everyday everyone found themselves growing more and more worried over Haymitch's condition- afraid of what was going to happen. We were planning on going back to the hospital tomorrow, as Effie said she felt that the end was coming and nobody wanted him going without a real goodbye.

Willow stayed with Thomas's family last night as apparently she couldn't stand myself and her father arguing anymore. That's all myself and Peeta have done the past couple of days- argue. Over petty little things really, yet they seemed to escalate too quickly. We both knew nothing that we said meant anything, but the stress of having Haymitch in hospital, coping with a three year old who doesn't understand, a son who wouldn't open up to you, and a daughter suffering with anxiety, the tension was high.

For the first time in years I hadn't slept beside Peeta last night. Instead I found myself sleeping in Oakley's room on a blow-up mattress and Sunshine for comfort, and to say the utter least, it was awful. The pain of not feeling him beside me, not his presence, not his warmth, nothing- it was horrifically heart-breaking. I hadn't slept for what had felt like days, and if I did, it was plagued with nightmarish thoughts or just simply staring into the darkness, waiting for the sun to rise so I had an excuse for getting up.

That's another thing I've found myself doing the past two mornings...slipping off into the woods at the crack of dawn. Once I was there I felt relaxed, I felt like my father was surrounding and comforting me- giving me the strength I needed. All of this was just too hard, and without Peeta there beside me, it made it all the more worse. ''Muma?'' I heard a voice say. I heard the scramble of little legs, jumping from the bed, and then them waddling over. ''Muma?''

''Hello Oakley darling.'' I smiled, sitting up and pulling her onto my lap.

''Muma why are you here? Are you in the doghouse? I heard Aunt Effie say Uncle Haym was in the doghouse once, because he ripped her favourite dress. Did you rip daddy's favourite shirt? If you buy him a new one I'm sure he'd understand.'' She rambled. I laughed, slightly amused, by how simple she made things sound.

''No Oaks, I didn't rip daddy's favourite shirt. We just, urm, had an argument that's all.'' I explained, stroking through her blonde locks as she leant against my chest.

''Why don't you apologise muma? Say sorry, that way everything will be okay.'' She smiled.

''I don't think it's that simple honey, this time I said some unforgiveable things, which I think your daddy won't forget for a very long time.'' I said, taking a deep breath and remembering last night's antics.

''I'm sure daddy will be alright muma.'' She smiled, wrapping her arms around my neck, hugging me.

''I hope so darling. Come on let's get you dressed.''

I quickly dressed Oakley in her white leggings and her light blue t-shirt dress, and put her on her mat to play, whilst I chucked on yesterday's clothes, combing through my hair to tame it's curls. Taking Oakley downstairs, I turned into the kitchen to see Rye already up and sat at the dining table. ''What're you drawing there kidda?'' I asked, kissing his head as I put Oakley down.

''Just sketching a meadow.'' He mumbled.

''What's up mr?'' I asked, sitting beside him.

''Nothing.'' He muttered. I sighed, knowing that he wouldn't tell me anything, and so I stood up and started to make some breakfast. ''When's Willow coming back?''

''I don't know Rye. Is that what's been bothering you?'' I sighed.

''A bit.'' He said. ''And you and dad arguing...'' He murmured towards the end. I finished placing the eggs on their cups, and walked over placing it down in front of Rye.