CARNIVORE [MxM+]

Chapter 19

Alexei Abbots.

My heart hurts. My mind is filled. They're threatening to take me away, and I've forgotten everything I've ever known.

Tycho is passed out, limbs sprawled on the carpet at my feet. Blood stains the left side of his face because he hit his head on his way down. Riley is in front of him with a first aid kit talking hastily to Xavier. He looks panicked. He's talking, but I can't hear him. All I can hear is his voice, whispering into my ear, assuring me nothing is wrong. That it will be okay, and it'll be over soon. I feel myself start to cry. 

But Xavier is in front of me now. His eyes are warm, the skin wrinkling at the outer edges. Crow's feet, people call them. A physical sign that someone smiles often, especially with their eyes. They make me feel warm. Secure. He's cupping my face now, talking to me. Slowly, his words make their way to me. 

"You're okay, sweetheart. You're with me. You're safe." I believe him, I realize. And suddenly, my therapist's face comes into view, teaching me how to deal with PTSD all over again. I listen to her. She's proven I can trust her. I breathe deeply and think of my partners. 

When my breathing has calmed and the real world is in front of me I realize Tycho and Riley are gone. In their place is a drop of blood the diameter of my pinky. "I really liked that rug," Xavier tells me. I laugh at his disappointment. He bends down, his suit tightening around his back and shoulders. He rolls up the carpet and lifts it over his shoulder.

"I'm sure we could clean it. It isn't much blood." He considers my words for a second but decides against it. "The memory it's now associated with is too dark for this brightly furnished living room. Riley would throw a fit and you know it." I scoff. He's right, I do know it. Next thing I know he's off, making his way to the backdoor. I follow him like a puppy. 

I watch from the doorway as he throws it in the trash, wiping his hands afterward to get the dust off. "C'mon. Let's go check on Tycho and Riley." He touches my shoulder as he passes, letting his fingers float across my skin. "I was just wondering where they went," He doesn't ask why I don't remember. He knows. I feel ashamed but bite it down. I will be healthy. 

"They're in the spare bedroom across the hall from ours. Riley said Tycho only just grazed his head so he should be fine. He'll make sure to check him for a concussion when he's awake, though." 

"Do you think he'll be okay?" I can't help but see myself in Tycho, and it worries me. 

"He will be if he never goes back to that house again. But I don't have an answer to that yet." I wanted to cry for him. I don't want him to ever have to face his stepfather again. I don't care what he did to me, I wish that on no one. I pull on Xavier's hand to get him to turn around. He knows I'm serious when I say: "He will not be going back to his house." He nods. I love him so much. 

We reach the room and push the door open. Riley is sitting by the bed that holds Tycho. He doesn't look good. I didn't notice earlier how tired he looked, and now he was sweating and muttering to himself while he slept. The bandage on his forehead was wet with blood. He looked dangerously pale. 

"Hi my love," Riley and Xavier treated each other with a kiss while I pulled up two more chairs for him and me. Sitting down, exhaustion flooded me, making me slump against Riley's shoulder. He held my head to his neck, letting me breathe him in. He shook slightly, but I didn't know what from. Nobody said anything as we all took in the events from the past two hours. I relaxed more against Riley, feeling my eyelids grow heavy. He lifted me from my chair and put me in his lap. I felt safe. That kept me alive.