CARNIVORE [MxM+]

Chapter 28

Fable by Gigi Perez is fuckin' me up rn

I will never accept myself

Alexei Abbots.

Riley's laughter bounced through the room while I wrapped my arms around his naked torso. It was night, and we were getting ready for bed. But something about Riley told me he had an especially good day, and he wouldn't tell me why.

"No, but you have to tell me," I poked his nose with my index finger to which he let out a giggle. "What's got you so energetic? It's like you won the lottery or something. I mean, I didn't know someone could dance so much without music while making dinner."

He crawled onto me, trapping me underneath him while he sank his face into my neck. "I don't want to tell you, but I kind of wanna show you 'cause its like, amazing. And adorable. And I can't help but feel proud and- God, I feel like such a mom." I could feel him smiling against my skin.

Then it clicked. "Wait, did Tycho do something? That's the only thing I can think of because you guys were left alone all day." He suddenly shot up and looked at me, this little smirk on his face telling me that I was on the right track. But he still wouldn't budge. So I wasn't going to play the nice cop anymore.

I suddenly flipped us, Riley letting out another of his adorable giggles in the process. He might've been stronger and bigger than me, but he didn't fight back when I took his wrists and pinned them to his sides while I straddled him. He liked the attention, the little shit. 

"Riley," I dragged out the syllables in his name as far as I could. "Tell me! Tell me please- you should tell me, please?" I gave my best pouting face but to my demise, it still wasn't working. I kept repeating the same thing over and over again while he just sat and laughed at my poor attempt at interrogation. 

"You know what? Fine." An idea struck my mind. One that would bite me back, but an idea nonetheless.

"'Fine' what? Hm?" This time I was the one who knew something he didn't.

As quickly as I could, I let go of his wrists and started pinching his sides. He howled and tried his best to buck me off, but when he realized that wouldn't work he tried to return the favor. Except I wasn't ticklish on my sides, only my feet. Which he couldn't reach.

"Okay! Okay! OKAY!" He stopped squirming as fast as he started and gave me a serious face. "I won't tell you, but I'll show you, okay?"

"Okay." I still didn't budge.

"Okay? Wait you mean right now?" 

"Yes, I mean right now. Why would I not mean right now?"

He huffed. "Okay, you little shit. I can try, but he might be sleeping." I knew Tycho. He wasn't sleeping. I don't think he ever did. Riley knew that too.

He stood, pulling his shirt back over his head before leaving the room. I followed him into the hallway where he proceeded to knock on Tycho's door. A few seconds passed before we heard a quiet "come in." Riley opened the door to expose an exhausted Tycho at his desk with a pencil in his hand. On the desk were various assignments he was still catching up on from the week he missed. 

I felt kind of bad for interrupting him for such a stupid reason when he was so busy.

Riley spoke before I did. "You okay, Sweetheart? We can bother you later if you want." I tried my best to hide my surprise as Tycho turned red-faced at the pet name. He pulled the collar of his shirt and looked away momentarily.

"No, I'm okay. What did you need?" I watched Riley's face as he spoke but he was only beaming.

"Nothing, I just wanted to check in before we went to bed. Are you still hungry? I can make you a study snack if you'd like?" 

"Oh, no that's okay. Your cooking is lovely but I couldn't ask you to do that. I'll be okay."

"Oh, so if I cut up some strawberries for you, you wouldn't want them?" Oh Riley, that dirty player. Ever since Tycho got here, he refused to ask for absolutely anything. But one day Riley pointed out to me and Xavier that the strawberries in the fridge kept on disappearing. Turns out Tycho absolutely loves them, so Riley has started doubling the amount that we buy every week.

Tycho's face somehow became even more flushed at the exposure of his obsession. "I- uh, I mean- if like, you wanted to? Like if you made some for yourself, I wouldn't uh, I wouldn't mind taking the leftovers?" He had somehow successfully turned that around without actually asking something of Riley. Clever. And Riley just laughed in return, assuring Tycho that he'd get his leftover strawberries. 

And just like that, we were in the kitchen both cutting strawberries. But in a way, I was excited to get him something I knew he cared for. 

"So how the hell did that happen today? He just, what? Let that happen?"

Riley thought for a moment as he worked. "No, actually. Around two weeks ago I had accidentally called him 'Sweetheart,' right, and I could kind of see it in his face that he had enjoyed it. So for a second, I thought, 'Oh that's really cute, I'm breaking down his walls,' but then it uh," his hands froze and he bit his lip. His eyes were glossed over like he was on the verge of crying. 

"He just flipped out. It's like he realized he liked it, and then his face twisted into this look of absolute shame. He looked so disgusted then all of a sudden he's looking at me with tears in his eyes and he's trying so hard not to cry that he's giving himself a panic attack." Riley sat the knife down quick to press his wrists into his eyes to stop the tears. 

I moved his hands out of the way to wipe the tears with my thumbs. His arms fell loosely to his sides as he let himself cry into my hands.

"It just reminded me so so much of y-you when we first met you and it- it brought back that feeling that I had all the time- like I could just suddenly lose you to yourself, like I couldn't help you in any way." Flashbacks to when I had first met them hurled through my mind, overwhelming me for a moment. 

I remembered how helpless I had felt. Like I didn't belong here. I remembered what it felt like just wanting to die. And it scared me that Tycho could feel the same way. 

"I know it's soon to say but I can't- I can't imagine him not here. I don't care how he views us- as friends, lovers- I don't care. I just want him to be okay." He placed one hand over mine and leaned into it, closing his eyes. 

I didn't realize he cared this much. But now that I thought about it, I couldn't imagine just losing him either. In some weird way, I wanted a world where Tycho was happy and comfortable here. With us. With himself. 

"I think he'll be okay, Riley. 'Cause we'll help him get there. So don't worry." I brought his face to mine and kissed him hard. He only took a second to respond, using his hands to tilt my face toward him more.