CARNIVORE [MxM+]

Chapter 12

Tycho Black. 

Rain sucks. Like, really sucks. 

It's like ruin your mood type shitty. It almost makes me regret being outside in this shitty park again. I will say though, I don't regret the drinks I've practically inhaled. 

I was better tonight. Healthy better. Not liver better, clearly, but sometimes sacrifices are necessary. I couldn't help but laugh. 

The rain loudly bounced off the plastic of the park's equipment, drowning out the sound of the cars passing by. It was cold, freezing even, but I barely felt it. Couldn't give a damn. I sat down on the small steps, letting the water soak into the back of my jeans. I set whatever bottle I had in my hand down, first twisting the cap back into place. The level change made my stomach lurch forward but I was kinda used to the nausea that comes with alcohol. It was comforting in a way.

The wind grew stronger, tilting its forces toward me, making my hoodie useless. The near-ice water droplets hit my face hard, biting into my skin. I shivered. 

Picking the bottle back up, I uncapped it to take a long drink, feeling the warmth of the drink travel down my throat and into my body. I sighed in relief. It would be a long night, but I had some cover to sleep under. I'll be fine. 

"Look at you, shivering like a bug." My attention jumps to the bench ten feet away from me. A man sits, unmoving, unaffected by the rain. A chuckle rings out.

"What's wrong, Bud? Don't you recognize me? Shit, I know its been a minute but-" 

"Dad."

"Yeah Tyke, it's me." I could fall apart. I didn't realize I had drunk this much.

"Yeah, you did." He was inches from me now, his face the exact same as its looked for the past ten years. "Don't lie to me, Tycho, and especially don't lie to yourself. I didn't teach you to lie. Did you already forget me?" Sadness swallowed my mind whole, making me forget where I was. 

"No- no of course not, Dad, I could never forget you." I felt small like I was 7 years old again. I fought the tears brimming in my eyes, wrapping my arms around myself pathetically. I closed my eyes tightly, wishing for memories that I actually liked to remember. 

"I miss you, Dad." A calloused, yet gentle hand met my cheek and all I wanted was to burrow my head in his shoulder and forget every bad thing that's ever happened. 

"Call her, Tyke. Fix things. I know you, you're logical. You know you can't stay here alone or something bad may happen. You need someone alive, someone there for you. Call her." 

"Tycho? Are you okay?"

I opened my eyes. My father was gone, and in his place was my phone brought to my ear with my own hand. 

"Kacey. Hey." I smiled to myself. The tears disappeared along with all thoughts of my father and my problems at the sound of her voice. Who knew you could miss someone so much?

"Why are you calling? You know we can't talk." The memories that I was trying to suppress hit me hard. My smile dropped with my excitement. The faux confidence the alcohol had given me fell away, leaving just the pathetic pieces behind. 

"I- Kacey- you know I'd never hurt you-" 

"It wasn't me you hurt and you know that." Max's face came to mind, painting that pained look on his face into the rain in front of me, like a fleeting piece of art. Shame filled my lungs, making me suck in a strained breath. I didn't mean to hurt him either. Even if he was annoying.

"I- I know I was messed up to Max, okay? It's just I didn't expect-"

"Didn't expect him to be one of the 'queers' you hate so much?" Her words were creeping towards that tone she used the last time we saw each other. The tone that could saw me in half. I began to panic, thinking of anything to say that could calm her down. 

"Kacey you know I love you and Max to death, but I promise I'll get over it, if you just talk to him or something then maybe he can, like, go to church or a conversion camp or something, I don't know." I threw my arms up at the difficulty of the situation. Over time, Max really did seem like a little brother. He was a good kid. But the thought of him liking men made me so fucking sick it hurt. 

"Watch. Your fucking. Mouth." 

"W-what?"

"Don't fucking 'what' me!" Kacey's angry voice filled the phone speakers, silencing the rain. I flinched away as if she were right in front of me, hand ready to strike. 

"It's not that big of a deal, Kace, it's just you know shit like that isn't normal-"

"Normal?! Fucking normal?! How dare you ever say to bring my brother to a fucking conversion camp you piece of fucking shit? Max is fucking everything to me, you're not worth a fucking fraction of the whole he is, get that straight, Tycho." I could feel my eyes widen at her statement, slightly confused as to why she was so angry. She had never sounded like this. I felt regret. Why do I say the wrong thing around her?

Excuses flooded me and made their way out of my mouth, trying to form a coherent explanation as to why she should forget what I just said and forgive me.

"I didn't mean-"

"Don't call me again. Got it?" My heart dropped in my chest to the point where I couldn't tell if it was still there. "I don't care how shitty your life is. Leave my brother out of it. And me." Her conviction seemed even colder than the weather. I couldn't help but listen to her. 

"Okay." All I felt was defeat. 

A cut- then a sound queue, telling me the call had ended. I went to our text messages, and sure enough, nothing I sent would go through. I was blocked. 

At this point, I had sobered up quickly, but the fatigue and intoxication still did numbers on my system, dragging me down to the ground. The logical part of my mind told me I should find somewhere to stay, But I deserved this. I deserved to feel terrible, physically and mentally. I deserved to be hungry, I deserved to be hurt. What I didn't deserve was Kacey. That realization hurt. I couldn't imagine a life without my best friend. But I guess she could. 

I dropped to my knees and sat down with my head against the inner structure of the playground equipment, where it was still dry. It was gonna be a long night. But I welcomed it. 

okay so who knew finals for AP classes are hard.