The Loveless Letter (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 20

POV: Olivia

"Fuck..." I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

It had been a day after I had hung out with my friends and Bree still hadn't called me or spoken to me.

Frankly, I was freaking the fuck out.

I didn't know what to do.

I didn't know what I did.

Did Bree just decide to be done with me all together?

Abandon me when I had just come back?

All of this stress was building in my chest and has made everything worse. I wasn't sleeping like I had been. The nightmares came back in full-force and I saw the people I had worked with, the people who had my back all the time, the people who I had come to view as family die over and over over...

I would wake up in sweats, my heart beating out of my chest, the burn marks on my body aching because the nightmares felt so real. It was like I was back in that German hospital and had lost all the progress I had made.

I felt fucking hopeless and was at the end of my rope.

I mean...

What was I supposed to do?

The urge to drink was strong and I kept looking at the closet where my gun was. It was stored in a safe, but my mind kept fucking with me in ways that made me want to be done with this shit forever. Izzy found me this morning with a Modelo in my hand, but yanked it from me, poured its contents into the sink, and threw the bottle into the garbage.

At first I was mad, but Izzy scolded me like our Mamá and I came back to my senses with her words.

At least Izzy didn't hit me...

I chuckled at the thought.

Currently, I was looking at some pictures I had stuffed in my sack and reminiscing about the good old days. I felt homesick even though I was home and I didn't know what the hell to do. I honestly felt like I would re-enlist if I could to just feel some semblance of fucking peace. I was more comfortable in a hole in the ground with gunfire overhead than being stuck in my families home while I just fucked around all day.

"Maldita sea... ¿Por qué me dejasteis? Vosotros, cabrones, os reíais de mí por estar deprimido y os burlabais de mí porque seguía perdidamente enamorado de mi mejor amigo..." I whispered, my emotions running high as I rubbed the pictures of us all smiling with my thumb.

(Dammit... Why did you guys leave me? You fuckers would make fun of me for moping around and tease me about how I was still hopelessly in love with my best friend...)

The house was empty so no one heard my words and I let out a longer sigh that seemed to drain me of all my energy.

I was jolted out of my memories though by the doorbell ringing.

"What the fuck?" I said aloud.

I didn't know who would show up at my house because everyone was supposed to be doing their own things. I just assumed it was either Izzy or Mamá coming to drag me by ear back to the diner so I could focus on something else other than being stuck in my own thoughts.

I set the picture down on my bed and walked towards the front door.

I took my time walking there because I wasn't really in the mood to be scolded by either my sister or my Mamá, but when I finally got there and opened the door, I was surprised to see that it was neither of them.