The Kids Screaming Oliolioxenfree [Editing]

The Burden of Disharmony (Ch.31)

-Kat's POV-

"Are you sure you're okay?", Adrian asked, cupping my face in his hands as he looked down at me with concern. I don't blame him. I mean I don't see why he loves me but if he does love me as much as he's leading on then I can see why he's so worried. He caught me cutting. I've tried to kill myself. I've been suicidal. I've been depressed. I love him so much and I can't image the unfathomable burden, I don't want to feel, that is the burden of losing the ones you hold closest to your heart.

"I'll be fine.", I lied. The truth is I didn't know if I was fine. When Adrian was around there was this high that came over me. Like I was my careless, happyish self but times like eleven. Nothing mattered. Nothing at all. And I still know that nothing matters. But I can't necessarily have control over something I don't know exists. Because honestly I have no clue why I've been so depressed lately. I don't know why I sink into these lifeless dazes. I do know that I'm in one right now. Adrian pulled me out of it with the collision of our lips. His cold, soft skin was so pleasing. I could kiss him for eternity. I would happily die of asphyxiation if it meant I could kiss him for just twenty minutes straight. I don't think he'd be to keen on the idea though.

"Okay. I love you.", He said. He stared into my eyes for a minute before kissing me gently.

"I love you too.", I said, smiling. I could feel the fluttery feeling of butterflies in my stomach. Saying 'I love you' and actually loving someone is so different. Loving him is amazing. I just ugh.

"Adrian wait.", I said before he could walk out the door. "I want to know what happened. Why did you say that on the phone?"

He sighed but came over to me and held my hands. "Remember when you...didn't want to love me? Well I didn't take that very well. I went out, got a fake idea, and went out drinking. Out at the bar I met a girl. Her name was Anastacia. She was just looking for someone to hold her. She took advantage of my drunken self. We made out but nothing else really happened. But I found myself tangled up in her and I didn't know how to get out. When you told me you loved me though...I got on the phone to talk to Anastacia but her little sister answers and her little sister adores me. Her little sister is Leah. I don't speak with Anastacia. I just told her we were done. Though I was terrified. I love you.", He said as if I would've forgotten. I forgive him. Because I love him. It doesn't matter. I don't know why I didn't hurt. Maybe it's because I know just how much I love him. Or because I know him. I know how when he's in situations that aren't exactly ideal he kind of shuts down. I still love him.

"I love you too.", I said, smiling and squeezing his hand reassuringly. I love him.

"Okay. I really do have to go though."

"Okay. Bye bye love.", He gave me a quick kiss and left. He was going to a sheriff's office to talk about his dad. He's basically turning him in. His aunt is going to move in until he turns 16 which shouldn't be too long. Maybe about a year or so. He's seven months older than me and I'm not good with time. It doesn't matter much.

I decided to take the time to call Vic. One ring. Two rings.

"Hello?"

"Hi Vic- er Mr.Fuentes."

"Kat! No please. Call me Vic."

"Okay hi Vic. Sorry I haven't been at school lately. I've been...dealing with...stuff."

"I know."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I umm. I spoke to your friend Jessica."

"What?! How do you know her?"

"She's uh...my uhh...my sister."

"Oh. Okay just um...okay."