Life can be complicated at times but when love rescue's you from your misery and sweeps you off your feet,how much are you willing to throw away?
Just when you think it can't get any worse .It does.
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Anitta - My mind goes through a million things each day.There is always something.The is no room to be quiet,no room to turn the sound down to silent.It doesn't matter what time of the day it is.It starts early morning.I'm laying there on the bed.Wondering what I'm going to do about certain issues.I feel powerless and helpless in a way.The bed is supporting me from falling on the floor.It supports my bones,muscles and my vital organs.My bed is like a leaf in the river ,my floating space.This is the place I feel safe.I can wonder away to a new environment or universe but at the same time I have a sense of anxiety.There is a name for that feeling.I like to call it a yellow or blue day.Yellow meaning the days I feel my happiest,blue when I'm feeling down or depressed.I could imagine myself going through a wardrobe.On one side there is yellow suits.On the other there is blue suits.Standing there wondering which mood l should pick?Which mood suits me best today.There is no in-between it's either yellow or blue or nothing.A suit is the best outfit because it covers all the scars.The pain my body goes through during these dark times.It puts me in a vulnerable mindset but at the same time it makes me feel powerful.A woman with a suit can only mean one thing.An independent,influential woman who is designed to change the world for the better.I feel like a Girl Boss.I got my head down focusing on business.The business in my mind,it sounds like a buzzing sound,a bee.Not that it has anything to do with Bridget but it's just a coincidence.If I am being completely honest,I distract myself with different things.Different hobbies.Some of them happened by accident.The songwriting,the book itself,poetry,podcasts and knitting.I might just loose my mind.This one time I was so invested in writing this that at random times of the day I would say random lines from the Zivion City Script.It is more like a movie script or tv series.I do all these different things thinking I will feel better but I go back to square one after a while.I believe I'm destined for greatness as corny as it may sound.It's a different type of greatness for me.I would say I was destined for what's different and what's missing in the world.That is me,showing me to the world.I'm sharing me with the world,not just my face.My voice,my deepest thoughts.You have full access to my mind.Not many people have the courage to post that.Don't get me wrong,sometimes I think I'm overdoing it but I know at least one person out there will read this and they might be feeling the same.Now they know that they are not alone.That must be a good feeling right? It is for me .At the end of the day it's up to you to choose what you want to do.You have to take your time,there is no point of rushing life.Your friend has this and that and it's making you feel like you are not doing enough.That's not always the case,it's a distraction to stop you from doing what feels right for you.It's simply a phone screen illusion.Your friend seems to have everything together but reality is no one has got it all figured out.
