Veil of Lies

Fired and Lost

★ Innessa

The moment Mustafa shut the door close, I nearly fell onto my knees on the floor because I know I had failed badly. I wish I had shoot him at the spot but I couldn't. I wanted to follow him, assassinate him and complete my mission but my legs were frozen. My emotions were a mess and I didn't knew what to do.

Should I go? Should I not go? What shall I do at this point? A shiver went down my spine knowing that not only Mustafa will fire me, Alexander will kill me. So now, it's the end? All of this hard work which I continued doing for so many months and years ended just like that?

A part of me wanted to hide and cry but I know I can't do that. What good it'll even bring? When he knows my true motive now.

I sat on the couch which Mustafa was sitting earlier and started getting my thoughts together. Until I realized that Mustafa had left something behind. His little notebook with his pen. For some reason, I couldn't help but open it to see various things written on different pages.

Reminders, Quranic verses, sayings of the Prophet ( ﷺ ), goals, business ethics and few more things. I should be worries but reading his notebook disconnected me from the reality. The notebook's first entry dates back to two years back. I read and read until I reached the last few pages and I was already tearing up.

Getting to know alittle more about him made me feel alot more bad.

Getting a person hate you who once you used to admire in secrecy truly hurts. I never realized but I never wanted to hurt Mustafa in such a way that it'd hurt him just like it did now. I may be an Islamophobe but whatever situation I am right now may or may not crack this cold later that have been forming for a long time. I continued sitting in there, thinking about what happened and what will happened because I am sure that if Alexander will get the news about it, I will be killed the next day.

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★ Mustafa

I was sleeping when I felt a person, shaking my shoulder as if he was waking me up.

" Wake up, man. It is time for fajr. " A man with a beard informed me after I looked at him with my sleepy face and red eyes. I had a really bad headache and grabbed my head as I tried remembering what am I doing here.

Oh right. I came here for repentance. Now it's time for fajr.

I stood up from the corner of the masjid where I slept crying and made my way up to the ablution corner while my lips continued saying the same Dhikr.

Astagfirullah, Astagfirullah, Astagfirullah, Astagfirullah.

I did wudu and went to the congregation where the prayer of fajr was being offering by numerous people. I joined them when my eyes again teared up. For me, it didn't mattered how big of a sin I had committed. The thing which was making me petrified was the one whom I disobeyed. His punishment. His warnings. His wrath. Everything came in my mind and I couldn't help myself but tear up. As I went for prostration, I was disconnected from the reality and continued asking my Lord for forgiveness.

After offering the prayer, both fardh and sunnah rakhas, I sat there, making supplications until the rays of sun came inside the mosque and enlightened the whole world.

I knew that He was the most merciful so I must be forgiven. Now, I just want to isolate myself so that I may worship Allah even more. I stood up, ran my fingers through my hair and exited the mosque.

As I sat inside my car, I checked my phone to see 43 missed calls from Emir and a text message.

Where did you went Mustafa? Is everything's alright?

I typed a short reply before shutting my phone off and driving off to my house.

Yes. I just wanted a break from all the disturbance.

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★ Innessa

It's the first day at work after the incident. Surprisingly enough, Mustafa haven't took any action against me yet. That's strange.

Thinking about it all makes me sort of depressed because I can't help but imagine my days without Nazli and Hiranur and the treatment Alexander is going to give me.

I was in my thoughts when I heard a knock on my cubicle.
" Yes? " I declared while Hira opened the door slowly and entered with an envelope in her hand.
" Hey Hira! How're you? " I smiled at her while she smiled back without looking at me.
" Katrina, sir Mustafa was meaning to give you this. " She handed the envelope without answering my greeting while I took it and started opening it.
" Oh, I see. What is this? " I questioned while she looked at me for a few seconds before continuing
" A dismissal letter. " Hira said with a hint of disappointment in her voice while I just looked at her, unsurprised and continued opening the envelope.
" What did you do, Katrina? " Hira questioned with genuine consideration.
" I have no idea. " I claimed while reading.

Can't say I'm not disappointed.

" Well, he said that you have to leave today."
" I can't defy the CEO's commandments, can I ? " I stood up to pack all my things. I knew this would happen.
Upon taking all my stuff, I looked up to Hira who had an upset look in her eyes.
" Don't be sad, Hira. We will continue to meet. "
" But I will miss you. " She said as her gaze lowered.
" Don't worry, you'll have Nazli. "
" What about you? "
" Forget about me unless if we still continue to hang out. " I took my bag, wore it in my shoulder and exited without even hugging her or informing Nazli that I was leaving and she also didn't bothered to make a contact.

I knew this would happen but why do I feel so bad and my nose burning? It's ridiculous. I left the building without looking back and made my way up to my apartment building.

No matter how bad I have messed up, I am certain of one thing. And that is, there is no way in hell that I am going back to Russia now. Yes, I am afraid of Alexander. It is better to not tell him for now. I should take a break from everything for a while now.

I sighed before continuing my walk while my head was a complete mess of thoughts. But one thing has been bothering be since that night. Who is the one who makes Mustafa Afridi so afraid when he sins? I have seen numerous people who are religious but have never seen a man like Mustafa. What if the one whom he fears is actually the truth? The scripture, the verses, the fear, everything is so convincing. His reminders, his attitude, his character. What is the thing which makes him - Mustafa so pure and humble? I want to know more about it.

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