"Here's your order of meat, sir," I say as I bring another plate of raw, marbled beef to a table of customers. I leave as they chatter excitedly, beginning to grill their late lunch.
I go to several other tables, mindlessly taking orders and passing them to the kitchen. With a huff, I lean my back against the wall as my eyes dart around Bulbyeonseong, the quaint little barbeque restaurant. The near-constant sizzling of meat fills the well-lit interior, moderately decorated with an odd combination of calligraphy and idol adverts. Even at 4 in the evening, the place is packed with lively patrons, adding bursts of laughter and loud conversation into the soundscape. As expected; it's Christmas.
I hate it.
Watching the patrons enjoy themselves with the people they love, or at least find decent, I can't help but feel a familiar emptiness. Something used to be there, once upon a time, but has since vanished. My fingers run across my pendant as my mind drifts into nothingness. The key. It's been two years and I still have no idea what it's for, or why she gave it to me.
"Something to remember me by." What the hell was that supposed to mean? It's just a key. A pointless, heavy, aggravating key. What's the point of leaving me with something when she could've st–
"Jang Y/N," a voice snaps me out of my trance. I blink several times before my eyes meet those of my manager. Crap, I'm in for a lecture for slacking off, aren't I?
"Ye– yes, sir." I quickly regain my composure.
"Are you drunk?"
My eyes scrunch in response, my stutter returning. "Par– pardon?"
"I said," he repeats in an exasperated tone, "Are you drunk? Your shift ended 5 minutes ago, what are you still doing here?"
Oh.
"Ah, I'm sorry, sir." I bow to him.
He shakes his head. "I've already let you off the hook for that stunt you pulled two years ago. Do you want me to regret it?"
"No, sir." I smile apologetically, though swearing internally.
"Just go," he sighs. "Spend the night with your family. It's Christmas."
"Thank you, sir. Merry Christmas." My smile grows wider and faker. I bow once more before turning to leave the restaurant. Grabbing my black topcoat from the coat rack, I bow to several of my coworkers as they greet me on my way out.
The cool winter air is a welcome sensation after spending several hours in that sauna of a restaurant, with heaters in the floor and on the tables where the patrons cook. My eyes travel along the streets, bare of any pedestrians other than the occasional passerby. Everything would be perfect—the weather, the lack of human interaction—if it weren't for what day it is. Two years since I last saw her. And I can never hope to see her again.
Should I go back to that place? I wonder if it's changed at all after all this time. No, bad idea. Too many memories there. Besides, I see enough of it in my nightmares every other night.
Walking along the quiet streets, a thought crosses my mind. Do ghosts have Christmas traditions? I mean, one would think I'd know, being someone who could see ghosts for as long I could've remembered. I guess I never really thought to check for any ghosts on this specific day. My Christmases were usually spent with her, come to think of it.
It's not like I have a family to spend time with.
As I'm heading home, my phone vibrates in my pocket. The lock screen greets me, that same photo on the Ferris wheel. A screenshot of happiness.
Sooyoung
Hey, you're done with work, right? Wanna go grab early dinner?
Might as well. Not like I'm doing anything tonight. There's that dinner invitation from Joohyun, but I'd rather not have to force myself to be all happy and social, especially not today.
Y/N
Sure. Where at?
~~~
The mind-numbingly overplayed pop song about the magic of the season plays in the background of the low mumble of conversation in the cafe as I enter. The contrast in temperature from cold to warm makes me shiver slightly. I spot Sooyoung seated at a table for two just as she notices me in return, and waves me over, her smile beaming. I walk under the banner that reads 'Merry Christmas 2024' over to her.
"Have you eaten today?" she asks as I pull the chair opposite from her.
"I had lunch." A sauce plate of kimchi counts as lunch, right?
Sooyoung places a menu on the table in front of me. I flip through it; I already know I'm going to order the same carbonara pasta anyway. A waitress comes by our table and takes our order, and when she leaves, I'm left at the mercy of Park Sooyoung.
"Joohyun-unnie was asking about you." There it is. "Why'd you turn her invitation down?"
"I could say the same for you. We're both here at this cafe."
"I have an excuse, though," she replies. "I'm working on an assignment for my finals. What about you?"
I shrug. "I have something to do." Sooyoung raises an eyebrow at me. "Fine. I still feel guilty for what happened to you guys." My eyes fixate on a nick in the wood of the table.
Sooyoung sighs. "We've been through this, Y/N. What happened wasn't your fault. It was bound to end up like that after everything that happened."
"Everything that happened because of me," I corrected
"Stop it. We both know that's not the reason you turned her down."
My eyes lift to meet hers. "What are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about." She looks at me with eyes filled with melancholy. "You used to love Christmas."
"Like you would know, we only spent one Christmas together before... everything. Remember?" Part of me regrets the venom in my words, but whatever it takes to divert the topic.
"Still, it's not like you live alone or anything, but you treat the holiday, no, you treat winter in general like it's a curse. Didn't you use to say you loved winter?"
I let out a deep sigh. Not like I can play this off. "Christmas just reminds me of her."
"How?" She takes care to soften her tone. "What's the connection?"
I shake my head, looking back onto the table. My fingers find their way back onto the key hanging from my neck.
"Is that key related to her?"
Without looking up, I answer, "What makes you say that?"
"I don't know, you seem pretty attached to it. I don't think I've seen you take it off, ever."
Just a pointless, heavy, aggravating key. "What, do you have eyes on me 24/7?"
"You know you can talk to me, right?"
My eyes dart back up. "And what good would that do?" I snap.
Sooyoung reaches out a hand and places it over my free hand, resting on the table. Realising how tight my grip on the key had gotten, I let go and rub my forearm.
"Something's clearly been eating you up inside. You don't have to keep it to yourself."
I haven't told anyone anything about what happened, not in two years. I ended up losing everyone who knew. It isn't until a tear drips from my chin that I realise the effect Sooyoung's words are having on me, like her chip damage is finally wearing me down.
"I just... miss her." Them. I miss them.
Sooyoung reaches her other hand out, cupping mine with both of hers. "I know." Her voice is all but swallowed up by the background noise.
Should I tell her?
A waiter comes by our table, interrupting the moment. Sooyoung pulls her hands away as she receives her drink, an iced mocha. As she nods in acknowledgement to the waiter, I wipe the stray tears off of my face with the hem of my sleeve.
She sets the drink aside. "What's on your mind? Talk to me."
"It's a long story..."
"We've got all evening." Her smile acts as a supplement to her attempts to reassure me.
Here goes nothing, I guess.
YOU ARE READING
The Next Life (다음 생에 만날래)
Fanfic"You found me once, you can find me again." - Jisoo x Male Reader - Jang Y/N never had much to call his own in life, but two things: his best friend Wendy, and his ability to see ghosts. When both of those things combine, and he ends up tagging alon...
