The air feels heavy, the atmospheric chatter and clinks merging into an oppressive, choking blanket.
Sooyoung stares at the pattern etched into the wood of the table, her finished salad bowl in front of her. As I breathe in, I notice how my lungs shake with the air rushing in. Despite the heating in the cafe, the sting of unforgiving ice hits my nose and throat. I reach in front of me for my mug of hot chocolate, only to stare into an emptiness lined with brown foam, quivering gently in my grasp.
"Sooyoung." I place the mug down, clasping one hand in the other, trying to warm them up. "Say something. You're making me nervous."
She keeps her gaze fixated on her spot on the table. "I... you were talking and I didn't wanna interrupt you..."
"Right, right..."
"Y/N..." She finally looks up, meeting my gaze with moistening eyes. "I'm so, so sorry. You didn't tell– I mean, I didn't know just how much you went through. None of us did. If I'd known..."
"There's no way you could've. I only have myself to blame. I was the one who kept everything from you guys. Even... from her, up until the end."
"That's not fair!" Her voice draws the attention of a few patrons close to us, and she gives them a curt smile and nod before continuing, lowering her voice a little. "If anything, it's Jisoo's fault. You couldn't tell anyone because she threatened you not to."
"I guess..." The thought of that sentiment leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
A waitress comes up to us, the white puff of her Santa hat dangling just over her brow. "I'm so sorry to bother you two, but, are you finished with your meal?"
Sooyoung turns to look at the entrance, only to see the queue that had since formed while I was telling my story. My plate of carbonara and her salad bowl are both obviously empty, which means the waitress is just trying to word it nicely.
"Oh, of course. We're sorry for the hold up."
We get up to leave, heading to the counter before our exit. (Sooyoung insists on paying, and I don't have the willpower to stop her.) I follow her to her car, getting into the passenger seat.
"But seriously, though," Sooyoung speaks up, her slightly raised voice filling the car as we pull out from the parking lot, "What was Jisoo thinking, dumping something like that on you right after all that happened that day?"
I swallow audibly, my distaste for the topic going down with it but not staying down. "I don't think I can blame her."
"Because you loved her."
"Because she was a ghost. One who'd been dead for centuries. One whose sole purpose in this world was to hunt someone down and destroy them. But just because she was dead didn't make her any less human on the inside. She felt fear, and love, and was terrible at interacting with the living." Despite the numbness in my chest, a smile forms on my lips. A soft one, barely noticeable in the dim lighting, but there nevertheless.
Sooyoung stays silent for a moment before she responds. "You really loved her, didn't you?"
Clenching my jaw as I feel the urge to sob, I close my eyes. "Let's just go home. The story's not over."
The rest of the car ride passes in a contemplative silence. I guess that Sooyoung's still trying to process everything I've told her up till now. It's a lot for anyone to take in, and it's not even the end of it. The worst part... is yet to come.
As for me, it feels like old wounds reopening. Not that I don't feel the sting of them every single day from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep, and even in my dreams. But actually putting them into words, laying them out from start to imminent end, it all feels overwhelming. They always say you'll feel better after talking about things, telling someone other than yourself. But they fail to warn of just how draining and painful it is to actually talk about it, to relive every moment, every scar, every feeling you tried so hard to leave behind.
Neither of us say a word as we step out of the car and into the house. The house that was once shared between Wendy and I, and is now mine and Sooyoung's. I don't bother locking the door; thankfully Sooyoung still has the sense to. I head straight for the couch, sitting leaning forward as I stare into the black screen of the TV. I feel the couch sink next to me under Sooyoung's weight.
"We don't have to continue if you don't want to."
"I don't. But I will."
YOU ARE READING
The Next Life (다음 생에 만날래)
Fanfiction"You found me once, you can find me again." - Jisoo x Male Reader - Jang Y/N never had much to call his own in life, but two things: his best friend Wendy, and his ability to see ghosts. When both of those things combine, and he ends up tagging alon...
