The Next Life (다음 생에 만날래)

The Lily

She's gone.

Those are the words that have echoed in my head nearly every day since the day after Christmas, 2022. And the words that bring my retelling of the events of that year to Sooyoun, to a close.

The weight on the couch next to me lifts as Sooyoung gets up, without a word. From the sound of her footsteps, I can tell she's heading to the kitchen. I let out a huge sigh before looking at my phone to check the time, sliding it out of my pocket.

I'm greeted by that same happiness, that same selfie on the Ferris wheel. My phone had been destroyed in the Queen's death trap, but since the selfie had originally been sent to me via text from Wendy, it wasn't lost forever. It allowed me to, after getting a new phone, keep it on the lock screen as a form of self-imposed torture. A snapshot, a reminder of happier times. Before I lost the two people who meant the most to me within the span of exactly one month.

Come to think of it, I should've gotten a photo with Jisoo when I had the chance. Would that even have worked? Would she have shown up in photographs?

Oh, it's 5 minutes past 12 am.

Just as I'm about to ponder on, if they were both still around, who I would choose to spend the holidays with, I'm dragged out of that derailed train of thought when Sooyoung's footsteps return to the living area. Accompanying them is the scent of... hot chocolate.

"You don't have to..." I trail off. "It's late. I've already wasted enough of your time."

Sooyoung brings two mugs of chocolate, leaving her own on the coffee table before handing me one. "Stop. I was the one who wanted to hear it."

"Didn't you say you had an assignment to work on?" I hold the mug in my hands, allowing the warmth to numb my cold fingers that I hadn't realised were shaking until I saw the liquid in the mug following suit.

"Isn't due till next week when classes start again." She reaches a tentative hand to my shoulder, offering an unsure yet comforting touch. "More importantly... that must've been hard to talk about."

I gulp, my mind replaying the events of 2022, now fresh in my mind after recounting them to Sooyoung. All things that no other person alive knows about. The four Mogwai who used to reside in Blackpink Mansion. The truth behind Wendy's death. The last time I saw her. How I narrowly escaped death at the hands of true evil. The source of the ability that plagued 22 years of my life, and how I lost it. The person I loved, whom I was apparently destined to love from my past life. How I lost her.

"I don't think I've ever talked about all of it... I've never told anyone."

She gives me a gentle rub of the shoulder. "Thank you for telling me, then. I'm glad you did."

I can only nod as I bring the mug to my lips. The warmth fills my insides, offering some comfort, but ultimately leaving a weak numbness behind. In a sense, it does feel better not being the only one alive to carry the burden of all that happened. But at the same time, it leaves me feeling like an empty husk.

We both sit there in silent contemplation, taking occasional sips of chocolate, letting the events I'd spent the entire evening describing ruminate. After what must've been a few minutes, Sooyoung is the first to break the spell of mutual silence.

"There's one thing I don't get, though. What were those things in the Queen's dimension?"

I take a long sip of my drink, not knowing how to reply. I knew what the Rasetsu was, kind of. But the others. The demon who shared my face, and seemed to know me. The zombie-ghoul-vampire-monster girls on the second floor. The Teddy bear. The lanky man who showed me my deepest fear. The giant lizard man. The one who called himself Nightmare, who referred to someone named Y/N Maximoff, or Lucidity.